8. If they start talking to Jesus, you need to get ready for something bad.
“People that start talking to their dead mother or see the light…75% chance they are going to go down. If they start talking to Jesus, you need to get ready for something bad. I don’t care if they are eating, ambulatory, and stable……we see this in the unit all the time. Some old man recovering nicely starts saying ‘mamma mamma I’m coming home’ is not just singing Ozzy.
Also, and I know it sounds like ‘no shit’ thing to say, if some looks at you and says ‘I’m dying’ no matter what the vitals are or what has been going on, take that shit seriously.
No one teaches this in Med school.”
9. Lady masturbates with fish, forgot to take it out.
“I am a General Physician working in a General Hospital….Lady came by because she had ‘weird smell and secretion’ coming from her vagina. No biggie. Start examining her when the stench of rotten fish hits me on my face. White-Grayish secretion flows out. Put my hand in there, reach deep and pull out a dead fish. Lady masturbates with fish, forgot to take it out.”
10. Dude lost his dick and balls during a jet-skiing accident but had them reattached.
“My wife was a CNA for a while in Post-Operation. She used to come home with all kinds of grisly stories.
My favorite was a guy who got castrated while jet skiing. Dude was out jet skiing and crossed a tubers line without knowing it. He caught his junk on the line and it castrated him, dick and balls full stop. Anyhoo, this dude proceeds to fish his fucking junk out of the river he was in, ride his jet ski home, put his package on ice, call an ambulance and call in to work the next day. They managed to reattach the whole kit and kaboodle and it worked just fine.”
11. A poor kid was now a paraplegic but didn’t know yet.
“A poor kid who was now a paraplegic but didn’t know yet because his parents hadn’t come and they were waiting to tell him.”
