1. My worst horror story was a guy that came in for massage, I can totally deal with a little bit of BO but this guy, holy shit the entire clinic reeked of BO! When he took off his shirt, very obvious that this guy did not shower or change his clothes often, his singlet was covered in yellow stains, worst massage I’ve ever done, I was almost gagging on the smell. He booked again to my horror and I said next time you come in I want you to have a nice hot shower before you come in so that your muscles are nice and relaxed. Did he? No, he did not. I asked him if he had showered and he said, “Oh, yeh, the other day.” Cringe.
Oh, yeh and one of his skin things broke off and crumbled in my hand. Hands down worst day of my massage life.
2. I’m a male massage therapist. When I first started at my job, I had a male client grind into the table while he was prone. When I had turned him supine, he asked if I could massage his stomach. I started my stomach routine, but was aware of a different consistency on my hands. Something that wasn’t my oil. I was desperately trying to figure out what it was (had I accidentally mixed oils?), when the treatment had ended.
He tipped me $100 with a big grin and left. I knew what that strange consistency was now. After my shift I went to the bar my buddy worked at and spend the $100 on a giant burger, 3 packs of cigarettes, alcohol and tipped them the rest. I didn’t want anything to do with that fuckin’ money. It taught me to be more aware and direct with the client when that shit starts happening.
3. Male therapist in a very seasonal Florida town, small, but A LOT of money comes here….I’m working on one gentleman who is in his 80s and as I am working on his legs I feel a weird texture between my fingers and on my palms, and not the hairy leg texture either. It’s dim enough in the room that I cannot really see so I just continue and the session ends 15 minutes later. Leaving the room I check my hands and see they are covered in what turned out to be dead skin, tons of it and it’s in my forearm hair too, having soaked up the oil it was now a nasty skin paste. I scrub the shit out of my arms and hands and dress down my table and change the linens. Well I guess only a little bit of the skin was on my hands and arms because the amount of grated cheese dead skin that was on the fitted sheet was horrible, we threw the sheets out.
4. Horror story: this not-very-attractive lady in her late 40’s grabbed my junk during a couple’s massage…with her husband on the adjacent table. It was so awkward telling her to “Please stop. Keep your hands on the table, please.”
5. While in massage school we had an instructor from one of the other programs the school offered and he had never had a massage before.…I lotioned my hands and touched his back and to my disgust realized why his back looked weird to me in the dim light. His back was a minefield of giant blackheads. His back literally looked like the surface of the moon. I stared to panic and wasn’t sure what I should do…I knew if I was going to make this a career I had to get used to things like this and act professionally. I continued the massage. As I’m massaging his back, it feels as though I’m down stroking bubble wrap. Its like there’s Nerd (the candy) under his skin. As I start to warm the skin and get the blood flowing on his back…some of the blackheads start working loose! They are now coating my hands and getting stuck between my fingers. There’s a weird smell that starts filling the air. By this point, I’m sweating and getting increasingly nauseous….
Luckily, just as I’m about to end the massage his phone starts ringing and he gets a voicemail. He sits ups and thanks me for a fantastic massage but he has been expecting a call and has to end the session early. I’m so relieved I can barely contain myself. I leave the room to let him get dressed. I proceed to the bathroom to wash up and look at my hands. They are covered in a greyish, lotion and blackhead stew.
6.I was doing a couple’s massage along with my coworker. I was massaging the lady and she was massaging the gentleman. Well, unfortunately the gentleman had a Sacajawea-coin-sized, pus-filled blister on his back that popped during the massage. Every time my coworker made a pass down his back the blister would glurp a little more of it’s hell juice onto his back. Our clients were both face down so we were making the most wretched faces at each other to express our disgust as my coworker did her best to avoid touching the yellow mess. Over the 10 years I did massage therapy I saw some interesting things and met some characters but I will never forget that blister.
Not including the odd rub and tug requests which every female therapist will get at least once during her massage career, I had a paraplegic once ask me to massage his nipples. Definitely wasn’t for therapeutic purposes.
8. I’ve been a Licensed Massage Therapist for four years now and two weeks ago for the first time ever, I had an older man think it was OK to try to kiss me. I HAD TO PUSH HIM OFF OF ME. I did not stop to think about his welfare, or him potentially suing my small practice. I only thought about my boundaries and my safety. After reestablishing my boundaries, I showed in the door. Goodbye, creepy old man.