Thought Catalog

27 Men Confess The Times They Were Completely Clueless To A Girl’s Flirting

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via Lookcatalog
via Lookcatalog

1.

I was on a plane ride back from vacation one year when I was 16-ish. I went to the front of the plane to use the restroom and as I’m walking back to my seat, this girl hands me a piece of paper and goes, “You dropped this.”

I’m one hundred percent confident that I didn’t have any paper in my pocket beforehand, so I politely say, “No, I didn’t, but thank you.”

“Yes. You did. You dropped this,” she says firmly.

At this point, I’m irritated that this girl clearly doesn’t realize that I’m more aware of the contents of my pockets than she is, so I tell her once again, in front of increasingly bewildered passengers, that I did not drop any paper.

Her mom (I assume) laughs, and the poor girl, exasperated at this point, says “Just take the paper!” So I say, “Fine!” And return to my seat, where my parents laugh at me while I open the paper with her phone number on it and realize I’m the dumbest person I will ever meet.

buckeyegy030

2.

She showed me her nipple piercing, by removing her entire shirt and bra.

I said, looks nice.

She said, did you get a close look?

I said, yup they did a good job.

Shirt went back on.

flammablepenguins

3.

Years ago I was crushing on this girl HARD, for months. She worked for the same company I did, but in different building, so we rarely had the opportunity to interact. We’d probably only spoken a couple of times in passing.

Well, a few days before Christmas one year, she comes waltzing up to me unexpectedly at work, wearing one of those party headbands with a springy plastic mistletoe bouncing around over her head. Says something like, “Hey, whats up. Like my hat?”

“Uh…yeah, cute,” I say.

“It’s mistletoe…,” she says, with a big shaky grin. “People have been trying to kiss me, can you believe it!”

My dumbass responds with. “Yeah. That sound’s pretty inappropriate,” like I’m damn Dwight Shrute from The Officeor something.

She says, “Oh, ok” and hightails it out of the building without looking at another person.

At the time I was a little heartbroken that the girl I thought I liked was the type to just randomly go around asking coworkers to kiss her, and I resented being lumped in with them (arrogance). Didn’t occur to me until later that I was probably the only person she approached. Shit, she probably went out and got the silly hat specifically to set up that scenario with me because it was clear that I didn’t have the balls to make the first move beyond giving her puppy-dog eyes for half a year. The way she shuffled away was like someone punched in the gut.

Idiot.

Monsieur_Pounce

4.

I had a girl ask me once if I wanted to sleep with her. It was nearly a year later that it occurred to me that she might have been serious.

LeodFitz

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