This Is Why She Cut You Out Of Her Life

Pan Xiaozhen

She cut you out of her life because she cannot be friends with you.

She looked at you and her mind cannot register the words, platonic friends. She saw you and her heart broke at the thought of never kissing you and calling you hers again.

She thought of you and past memories of you and her came flooding back. She remembered how the first time you told her that you loved her and how you would never leave. She missed how things used to be so easy with you.

You just got her, and she you.

But then a vast distance grew between the two of you, and she didn’t know what she did to deserve it. She didn’t know how to fix it. She didn’t know how she could possibly be in your presence and pretend that you weren’t all she wanted and loved.

She didn’t know how to unlove you.

She cut you out of her life because she could not bear the thought of seeing you falling in love with another girl.

The thought of you getting together with someone else brought tears to her eyes. It’s not that she didn’t want you to be happy. She did, just that she could never have thought that your happiness has to come at the expense of her.

She never expected that one day, she would have to get over you. She thought of the love she had for you in her heart and couldn’t fathom the thought of it ever turning cold. Then she thought dismally of your unemotional words when you told her that you would meet someone else eventually, and she must move on.

She cut you out of her life because she’s still in love with you.

She told you that she was okay and smiled bravely at you when you showed your concern. Your eyes creased in confusion first, then after that, you smiled, relieved that she was fine.

What you did not know was that she wasn’t the least bit fine. She didn’t want you to pity her. She didn’t want your patronizing words. She didn’t want anything out of your lips except the words I love you too.

You were so familiar yet like a stranger.

She couldn’t understand how someone could change so much in a short period of time. She started to doubt whether if you truly loved her, because if you did, then how could you let her go so easily? As through she didn’t mean a thing to you. She couldn’t comprehend how after you broke her heart, she was still all too willing to give it back to you in a heartbeat. She couldn’t imagine that she could get over you and love someone else who wasn’t you.

But she cut you out of her life because she knows she is better off without you.

The toxic relationship was killing her the more she allowed it to be dragged on. She felt herself losing sight of who she was as she continued to try to hold onto you. She knew that she loved you so much, but it was at the expense of herself.

She knew that the past was truly gone and no matter what she did, you could never feel the same way about her again. She knew that to truly move on, she had to let you go.
And as much as it pained her, she did.

Because she hadn’t been feeling right for a long time. And it was finally time for her to find herself again. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Liane White

I write about falling in love and out of love.

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