Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

“The past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it” – The Lion King

I’ve come to find that maybe some people don’t understand what it feels like to have loved another person with every bone in your body. I’ve come to find that maybe some people don’t understand love.

I still miss you sometimes. Maybe I miss you all the time. But, this isn’t a love letter to you. It’s a letter for me, to remind myself to keep on healing and to keep on going.

To the boy who sat next to me on that airplane, thank you for restoring my faith in men.

We need to take everyday to be kind to ourselves and to press pause on our lives for a moment.

I hope you never feel defined by your anxiety, even if you feel like it has a strong hold on you. You are bigger than it. You are stronger than it.

I am not a clean slate anymore. I am not a person without scars or bruises. But I am a person who has overcome loss and has dealt with pain without numbing cream and without a vice.

Your life can be a fairytale without that happy ending. Right now, is the time to just love yourself. And kick ass.

We expect that things will be easier than they actually are. We expect that life will work itself out. We expect that we will make the best of everything and will be strong through tough times. But sometimes, you need to break down in order for things to build back up.

You can’t be loved by everyone in this world, but if you are lucky, you will have a few great friends by your side who will let you know if you have food stuck in your teeth, or that you wore your shirt inside out.

It’s okay to not feel like an adult even if society tells you that you are one. It’s okay to wish you were still six, and not have a worry in sight.

I remember how much I loved you. And I remember how much you loved me. And I remember the love, the lust, the beginning and the end. How can you look at the memories you’ve had and loved and not feel some sort of ache in your chest? How do you read the letters from someone who once loved you and not feel your stomach drop?

Block them. On everything. And anything. When you don’t see their pictures pop up everywhere on your newsfeed, you will start to adapt to a life without them.

One day you are going to wake up and realize you are over them. One day you aren’t going to be tied down to that person anymore, and you are going to be happy just with yourself.

When I was young, I figured by the age of 23, I would have everything figured out.

You deserve love on the days when you can’t get up in the morning and spend the day questioning your self-worth. You deserve love when you allow yourself to grieve unapologetically and without shame. You deserve love when you cry for the past, longing for something greater than what once was.

Being single on Valentine’s Day is not something to be ashamed or embarrassed about. In fact, I think it calls for a celebration.

Thinking back on it, all of my life so far, I have let boys set my self-esteem and self-worth for me. And for what? For miserable nights picking out every flaw I thought they saw on me? For more miserable nights picking apart our conversations?