I’ve had a lot of friends come and go in my 23 years of living so far. With some, we grew apart naturally and there were no hard feelings between us. With others, there usually was an incident that happened, and I had to let that friend go (or they had to let me go).

What I have learned so far about real friends, is that not everyone in this world is supposed to be friends with you, and not everyone in this world is going to like you. I used to spend so much time trying to please everyone instead of thinking about what type of friends I needed and what kind of friends were lifting me up instead of bringing me down.

A real friend is not someone who is going to agree with everything you say or give you a thumbs up all the time. They are going to disagree with you and let you know that you are making a mistake, even if it doesn’t seem like it to you. They are going to tell if you are acting like an idiot and say it straight to your face. They aren’t going to sugar coat things to make you feel better, they are going to tell you the truth.

A real friend is not someone who constantly compares themselves to you, insulting you on your appearance or clothing choice. A real friend however will tell you that your hair looks better without those tiger striped highlights you just got. Real friends are going to be honest and will not apologize for being real with you, because they ultimately just want what is best for you. And they probably know you better than you know yourself.

They will let you know if your boyfriend treats you like crap and will remind you to not text your ex when you’re drunk and home alone. They will remind you to not forget your birth control pills and will give you tissues and hugs after a hard breakup. And they will also love you regardless of the bad highlights, crappy boyfriends and late night impulsive choices. They will ultimately support you in what makes you happy, and what makes you feel good about yourself.

Real friends won’t ever abandon you. Not even when even when you are too drunk to function and cry ugly Kim Kardashian tears to them. They know you’re a little messed up and a little bit lost, but so are they. And you’re all in this together.