Fall In Love With The Guy Who Makes You Feel Safe

Milly Cope
Milly Cope

I understand the appeal of the “bad boy”. I mean sure, he’s charming and usually impeccably good looking. I get it, it’s fun to play with fire once in a while, but to play with fire when it comes to your love life? Count me out.

While some might like the guy in the leather jacket who smokes cigarettes, or the mystery guy who buys you cranberry vodkas at the bar, I’d rather fall in love with the guy who doesn’t make me nervous.

I’d rather fall in love with the guy who I actually feel comfortable with.

Call me a prude, or say that I’m asking for too much, but I’d rather fall in love with the nice guy. The good guy. And no, nice guys do not always finish last. In my eyes, they are always going to be first. 

I wish we could get rid of the stereotype that nice guys are unattractive, or that they don’t even exist. Nice guys are real. They exist. Somewhere. It’s just that, none of us have ever bothered to look for them.

It’s the bad boys who are the ones that are easy to find, easy to get, easy to hook up with for a night of fun. But that’s not enough for me.

I’m waiting for the guy who won’t want to hook up with other girls. I’m waiting for the guy who won’t raise his voice at me if I make a dumb mistake. I’m waiting for the guy who will want to make me happy and will want to make me see how special I truly am. 

Isn’t that what we all want? Isn’t it what we deserve? The person who makes you feel safe, no matter where you are and what you are doing. The person who won’t cross the line into uncomfortable territory. The person who will actually ask you about what you don’t like and what you do like.

I’d rather fall in love with the guy who knows that he’s lucky to have me, instead of the guy who will toss me out after a week. I don’t want the drunken hookups. I don’t want the walk of shames. I don’t want to bar hop anymore in hopes that some sleaze will buy me a drink. I’m tired.

And I’m exhausted that this is the world we live in.

I’m done with friends with benefits. I’m done settling. I want the good guy. I want Tom from ‘500 Days of Summer’. I want the guy who will be happy to lie in bed with me all doing nothing. I want the guy who knows my worth, and who knows his. I want the guy who won’t ever question our relationship, because he knows it’s a once in a lifetime type of thing. I want the guy who isn’t afraid of commitment. And who doesn’t have wandering eyes every time we go out.

I want the guy who is nice to all of my friends. The guy who shakes his hand with my father, and brings my mom flowers. I want the guy who doesn’t take me for granted and who looks at me like I’m everything he has ever wanted in a girl.

I want the guy who makes me feel safe in his arms when he holds me. That’s all I want.

And maybe it’s too much for me to ask. Maybe my expectations are too high. And maybe I should settle, to find a guy sooner, and settle down faster. But I’m not going to do that. I will wait however long it takes. I know I deserve better. And you do too.  TC mark

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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