This is a open letter to you: yes, to you, yourself. I love you. I always did.
Not so much the one you used to be, even though deep down I loved you even then, I promised. I love you so much now. The choices you made, the path you took, the studies you chose, the friends you surrounded yourself with, the fact that you never ever settled, for anything, or anyone.
I love you.
The challenges you’re putting yourself into every day, the fact that you’re finally growing and no longer act like him, or anyone else. The fact that you’re turning into your own person and even if it took you so long, even if it was painful and seemed like it was never going to end, you made it out alive, now, and you are shining. I love that you finally started working out for good, taking care of your body and selectively picking the food you want to put into it. Finally. You took the right path, you followed yourself trough the journey, learned, watched, created, studied, wrote, took pictures, lived everywhere and nowhere at the same time. You’re turning into this beautiful creature and I am so proud.
Cost you tears, saliva, pain, sweat, anger, screams, wrinkles and fat. But you’re getting there. You didn’t reach the end line, no, not yet, it’s still too soon, there are still so many things, people and places to see, meet, do. But you came a long way: you finally loved yourself. That chubby girl would be proud too: she preferred the couch her whole life, you made her change her mind. Now she runs 30kms a week, does insane fit classes, spinning and Pilates, and not monthly, weekly, every other day. She wouldn’t believe you if you tell her: that you also got rid of her long curly blonde hair, that she has five tattoos, all for one single guy, that managed to never make her cry.
The angry teenager would have been proud of you too. You kept that bit of anger that she built so high inside of her, that you couldn’t simply destroy, but you can manage it now, you can turn it into art, daily. You managed to turn all the flows into merits. Good job, well done, bravo. Keep your head up, keep fighting, keep running, keep smiling, keep loving, keep dreaming, keep hoping. The child that you were wouldn’t want you to stop, the woman you’ve become either, and the one you will be, she will look back smiling. You come a long way, you can’t stop now. It will all be useful, someday.
To me, myself, and I. To the one that I was, I am and I will become: carry on.
You were never wrong, you were never right, but I love you, and you’re doing great.