If You’re Not Doing These 7 Things, You’re Not Trying In Your Relationship

Tanja Heffner

Relationships are supposed to help you grow as a person. Relationships are meant to bring out the best in us, not the worst. There are some things you should be doing in a relationship, whether old or new, and if you’re not, it may be time to re-evaluate.

1. Learning new things

You should be learning new things about your partner, AND yourself constantly. We’re constantly changing and even if you’ve been with someone for years, there are always quirks and little things we miss. It’s important to discover both yourself and your partner for all they are.

2. Dating

Don’t ever stop “DATING” your significant other. After the honeymoon phase, we sometimes get stuck in a weird spot. You fall into a routine. Maybe you go to the same place every Friday night. Maybe every night is Netflix and sweats. The problem there is we get too comfortable, and stop doing what we did when we were trying to win that person over. You have your person, but go on nice dates, compliment them, act like you’re still as interested as you were when trying to pursue them.

3. Pursuing your goals

Relationships and partners should push us to be our best selves. Do you feel like you’re settling? Do you feel comfortable where you are? Maybe you stopped dreaming of that promotion, because you’re happy where you are. Push your partner, and yourself to pursue your goals. Don’t ever lose sight of what you want.

4. Immersing your S.O. in your life

When you date someone, you want them to be a part of your life. While it’s important to maintain your own separate friendships, the person you’re dating should meet your best friend, your siblings, and your parents. If this hasn’t happened yet, you need to ask yourself why.

5. Becoming your best self

I want the person I date to make me a better person. Maybe everyone doesn’t agree with me on this, but I want to look good, feel good, and be healthy. Find a partner who encourages you to look and feel your best. Find someone who pushes you to eat clean, workout, and take care of your body.

6. Fighting

No relationship is perfect. If you’re dating someone and haven’t experienced your first fight, you need to. I’m not saying that you should be fighting daily, but fights can be healthy. Fights can show you if that person has a temper. How you recover and bounce back from a fight is important. I believe the relationship isn’t really real until you’ve had that first fight.

7. Letting your guard down

Are you still putting on a mask with your partner? If you don’t feel that you can truly let your hair down, and be your complete self, you’re doing it wrong. I don’t want to be with someone I have to put an act on with. I want to be myself. Find someone you don’t have to try with. Someone who gets you. Someone who loves and accepts your weirdness.

Relationships are hard work. They’re constantly evolving and changing. Always be yourself, be confident, and know your worth. TC mark

Kristin Rattigan

27. Chicago. I prefer kids to adults 99% of the time.

To love yourself should be no quiet affair, but a loud uprising.

“Never forget,
you are more powerful
than you are damaged
and you will rise
from any abyss
they drown you in.”

— Nikita Gill, Your Heart Is The Sea

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