Through The Right Relationship Your Real Friends Will Reveal Themselves

When you finally find the right partner, your life is going to change for the better. In the right kind of love, it will help you to reveal the best parts of yourself, as well as the parts that need a little bit of improvement. But what you’ll also learn through love is which other relationships are real and worth your time and energy.

Unconditional love will teach you which friends love you based on conditions 

When someone loves you unconditionally, they will forgive your shortcomings. They will meet you with empathy, love, and understanding that no one is perfect, but they will still choose you.

When it’s a relationship based on conditions, you’ll find yourself walking on eggshells with this person, cautious of always saying or doing the right thing per their expectations. Then the moment you fall short of that, you might lose fake friends along the way or realize they were simply a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Through something real, it will show you who are fake. 

Your partner will be able to see first who your real friends are. And if there is someone your partner doesn’t like, take their opinion into account because they are there for all the right reasons and are looking out for the people who aren’t. The right relationship will protect you.

Through your genuine happiness, you’ll see those who are jealous of it. 

Everyone says they want you to be happy. The right people in your life genuinely mean it. But the wrong people in your life never want you happier than they are. It will come with small snide comments, but the truth is that unkindness is masked jealousy, and you don’t need people in your life like that, not when you have so many people who realize there is enough happiness for everyone someone else’s isn’t something to envy.

In becoming better, you’ll see the friends who never wanted you to get there. 

You meet friends at different phases in your life. Sometimes when you aren’t your best self, you’ll build connections and relationships with people who connect with that version of who you are at that moment. But we evolve as people. When you grow and mature and get past certain phases and become a better version of yourself, sometimes not everyone gets there too, and they will look at you and say something like ‘you’ve changed’ because who you are isn’t in accordance with someone who makes them feel better about themselves.

The right friends, though, will be cheering you on because even though every phase you’ve had, they know you to the core of whom you are and want you to be the best version of yourself. That is someone they knew you were the whole time.  

Through the time you lose, you’ll realize who deserves yours. 

Relationships take up a lot of your time. With that, you’ll lose time for other people. If you are someone who has made friendships a priority for so long, maybe allowing friendships to fill voids of the relationship you didn’t have, you probably went out of your way for a lot of people. But in building a life with someone new and falling in love, you realize who deserves to be a priority and who doesn’t.

Through relationship problems, you’ll learn which friends don’t like your partner. 

Even the best relationship has problems. We turn to our friends to vent and express what we are feeling and explain a fight or situation. A friend who doesn’t like your partner will immediately hop on the bandwagon of bashing them. And it’s in those moments; you’ll learn who doesn’t like your partner.

A good friend will let you express yourself without passing judgment outwardly and help you to work through the problem or know their role right now is to listen.

In someone who reciprocates effort, you’ll learn who never met you halfway

For any friendship to last, it requires the other person to invest time, effort, and energy. You’ll see which conversations become quieter when you aren’t the one starting it, and you realize there are people you don’t see as often when it isn’t you driving the whole way to see them.

But you’ll also learn which relationships are entirely effortless.

Through building a home, you’ll learn whom you want to welcome into it. 

While the number of real relationships you have might decrease in numbers, remember it’s better to have quality over quantity. Know real friends become family, and houses become home when you fill it with love from the kinds of people who have never stopped loving you the right way.

About the author
Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words. Follow Kirsten on Instagram or read more articles from Kirsten on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related