Maybe I Needed To Lose

Maybe I Needed To Lose

Maybe I needed to lose what felt like everything at the time to realize I still had a lot. Maybe I needed to lose myself along the way to realize who I wanted to be and finally take the proper steps towards getting there. Maybe I needed to hit rock bottom both hard and fast to keep me humble and realize everything I have and had worked for could be taken in an instant. Maybe I needed to lose because I won all I could within my comfort zone and only when being forced out of it would I grow the way I needed to.

Maybe I needed to lose so I could learn to detach happiness to accomplishments, prestige, milestones, concrete things and people and learn that the root of happiness is found within myself. Maybe I needed a lesson in patience when it felt like nothing was coming together and there my faith would be tested. Maybe I needed to lose to realize what needed to change weren’t events but rather my attitude towards negative things happening. Maybe I needed to change instead of clinging to routine so the universe forced everything else in my life to change so I would eventually take the hint.

Maybe I needed that isolation and loneliness to evaluate exactly where I wanted to go from there without any distractions. Maybe I needed to lose some people along the way to realize who really would stand by me through the tough times. Maybe I needed to let go of everyone to see who really was holding on.

Maybe I needed a lesson in putting myself first for once. Maybe I needed to lose love to realize there were still parts of me that needed to learn how to love myself and that couldn’t be found in even the best relationship. Maybe I needed a heartbreaking goodbye to finally take steps towards where and who I needed to be. Maybe I needed to find a relationship only to lose it to learn gratitude and appreciation for someone so good and kind. That an ending I might not like didn’t mean the story wasn’t a good one.

Maybe I needed to fall a part so I could learn to put myself back together again.

Maybe I needed to lose all of all of it to realize what felt like a loss was truly a gain.

Maybe I needed to lose myself because only then I would be found.

About the author

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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