That’s How She Knows The Difference Between A Boy And Man

Joanna Nix

Boys will keep you guessing with lingering questions. The games where you don’t know where you stand. The ones that come and go like their exit isn’t anything that should faze you. The late night calls you shouldn’t answer. But there’s just something about the person you can’t have. And you hate yourself for it.

But a man will tell you exactly how he feels and what his intentions are. The type of person who has grown out of the hookup phase and isn’t afraid of commitment and looking for something real.

Boys will tell you they aren’t the relationship type right off the bat to justify what might be mistreatment later then they use the excuse that you aren’t dating and they don’t owe you anything.

A man knows the right woman when he meets her. And he might not say it off the bat but he’s thinking, ‘can she be the one I spend the rest of my life with?’ Because that’s what he’s looking for.

Boys shut down any conversation of the future. Because the truth is they don’t see you a part of theirs.

A man will tell you about dates in the future and plan things ahead of time because if you’re in the picture he’s thinking long term.

Boys will tell you, you can meet their friends and family one day but the truth is they have no intention of you ever meeting.

A man brings you around to meet important people in his life quickly. He doesn’t want to keep you a secret because when you meet the right person you want everyone to know about it.

Boys will test you and see how much they can get away with. This comes in the form of blurry lines getting redrawn and rewritten. They test you emotionally and hurt you more often than not.

A man tests you only in the sense of pushing you past your comfort zone and to achieve more. The goals you have he believes in. The things you want to do he’s going to be there supporting you.

Boys will put the min effort into the relationship, enough to keep you around and answering.

A man will meet you halfway and never make you feel like you have to try too hard to keep their attention because honestly they care more about trying to keep yours.

But the greatest difference between a boy and a man will always come down to one thing, how they leave and the ones who choose not to. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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