This Is Why She’s Single

God & Man

You call her jaded when it comes to love but it’s hard to get excited about anyone or anything when the outcome seems to be the same.

You tell her to try harder when it comes to love but every time she does, she comes on too strong and it pushes people away.

You tell her she’s different but it’s still not enough to appease you.

You tell her not to change but you still don’t choose her.

You tell her she’s beautiful but what she hears is not beautiful enough.

You tell her to care less when it comes to love but in a generation of casual hookups, if it means never speaking to the person ever again after leaving the next morning, she’d rather wake up alone.

You tell her she chooses the wrong people but every one of them has her fooled saying and doing all the right things to get her to fall only they have no intention of catching her.

You tell her to not be so on edge but how can you not be when ghosting without an explanation has become her norm.

You tell her she’s too guarded but every relationship she gets herself into is another reason of why she needs to watch her back.

You tell her she needs to change and every time she does it’s still not enough. She changes herself so much she forgets who she is.

Fixated upon her reflection, analyzing every flaw. Wondering exactly what it is about her they don’t like.

You tell her to focus on herself, yet all the accomplishments and awards and areas of her life that should attract someone doesn’t. So she pines after achievements because at least that’s consistent.

You tell her she needs to be more confident but how is she supposed to when across the board it seems she has everything going for her?

You tell her to not fear love but she looks at the guy standing in front of her who she gave everything to and he broke her.

‘I love you’ slipped out of her mouth only to be met with silence followed by explanations.

She’s tired of people having to justify why this thing that looks and feels like a relationship will never actually be one.

You tell her she needs to stop thinking so much but when every move she makes is judged harshly she goes from making moves to be frozen.

You tell her she needs to move on from the past and skeletons that dance with her. But when every step forward leads to them somehow knowing, then she takes three more back because suddenly when she’s not available they grow more interested.

You tell her she needs to trust more but all she’s learned is the only person she can trust is herself and even in those moments she questions that.

You tell her to be happy alone but is that bad to want to share a life with someone?

You tell her she needs to put herself out there more. So she downloads apps and goes on dates only to realize very few people’s standards and ideals of what dating actually should be, align with her own.

You tell her all these things and she’s just left confused and alone and not sure what to do.

You tell her to be patient and wait, that the right person will come so that’s what she’s doing.

Waiting for someone she doesn’t know even exists but hopes and prays he comes soon.

Lying there alone at night wondering when someone will lay next to her and want to stay.

Standing alone in a bar, making eye contact with strangers. Hoping maybe it clicks. But in a sea of people, she feels more alone, it’s ironic how company can do that to a person.

The truth is maybe there’s enough alcohol to change her for the night but when she wakes up she still has a heart that’s different than all of them.

So she stumbles out alone as passer-by’s drop lines to ears that are mute because she’s heard it all.

She’s believed it all.

And she learned.

But she holds onto a faith that’s growing wary, as wall build up hoping just maybe someone will care enough to show her it was all of them before who were flawed not her.
TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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