I Hope You Find Someone Whose Absence Makes You Feel Homesick

 JULIA MALASHEVICH
JULIA MALASHEVICH

I stood in a foreign city overcome with a beauty I had only ever seen in pictures. But with that feeling of wanderlust came a feeling of being emotionally disconnected to a place I knew would never be mine. In a desperate attempt to find wifi in a European hostel, I typed 3 words. ‘I miss you.’ Traveling alone came with this cold realization it wouldn’t matter where I went or what I did unless he was standing beside me.

And I hope you find that. I hope you find something more beautiful than the greatest built structures. I hope you find something more beautiful than every postcard coming to life before your eyes when you go there. I hope you find something that captivates you more than the greatest painting in famous museums. I hope you find something more beautiful the most enchanting of cities. I hope you find someone who ruins all of it for you in the best way.

I hope you find that beauty within someone else. I hope you find someone who gives you a reason to stay. And if you can’t stay, I hope you find someone willing to go wherever you are, if ever you should ask.

I hope you find someone who truly misses you when you’re apart. Someone who would get on the first flight just to be there with you. Because wherever there is, home is defined by you too.

I hope you find home not to be the place where you sleep but rather the person sleeping beside you.

I hope you find home, not in the place you’ve always known and that comfort zone but rather someone who pushes you out of it to see more with them by your side.

I hope you live never playing it safe both in your life and in love.

I hope you find someone that scares you so much you have no choice but to be with them or you’d regret it.

I hope you find home in a person that gives you a place to feel secure and a company that never makes you feel lonely.

I hope you find home within someone who wants to find the answers with you and is willing to endure any struggle during states of confusion as you figure it out.

I hope you find someone who loves you enough to let you go and a comfort in knowing you have someone waiting for you.

I hope you find home in the person whose touch heals you, whose words comfort you, whose gestures continue to baffle and surprise you.

I hope you find home within a love that makes you understand with clarity why it never worked out with anyone else. A love that makes you better. A love that makes you want to be a better person because they are there.

I hope you find someone who ruins your life in the best way redirecting it. Someone who pushes you to take chances. Someone who teaches you to be unselfish because of all acts, love is defined by putting someone first.

I hope you find someone who makes you happy. Truly, truly happy. That person that can put a smile on your face regardless of what type of day you are having.

I hope you find someone who understands you, who truly understand you. I hope you find someone who can read between every line and every facial expression and tone and even when you are fooling the world with a smile, they still know to ask, ‘what’s wrong?’

I hope you find home within an unexplainable connection and a look that somehow explains it all.

I hope you find home within someone who leaves you so speechless you can’t quite describe it to people, home within someone who makes you feel incomplete without them.

But more than that, I hope you find someone who makes you feel homesick if ever you’re a part and someone willing to go where ever you are.

I looked down at an international throw away phone with little credit left and read the words, ‘I can be on the first flight out.’ That’s when I knew everything I needed to. Home was defined in that moment. I realized it would never be a place but rather a person who gave something to come back to or someone who loved me enough to meet me anywhere.

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

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