11 Things To Know Before Dating Someone Who Is In A Relationship With Their Job

 NICK BULANOV
NICK BULANOV

“So, it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.” – Nicholas Sparks

Workaholics. They’re pretty tough people to have relationships with, not just because they work a lot but because unlike a lot of people who make their relationship status a priority, these people don’t. They don’t mind being single. It gives them more time for their job. And in the beginning, they might even push you away because they know what someone is getting into dating them. They’ve had relationships fail because of it. But every so often they will come across someone who will shake up the life they’ve built for themselves. Someone who will show them that there is more to life than a job.

1. Their job will always be their number one priority.

Before you came into their life, their job was it. Yes, they have family and friends but they’ve worked unbelievably hard to get to where they are. No relationship will make them suddenly do less. In fact, they care about their job so much, they won’t choose someone unless that person understands what they are getting into and knows it won’t be a normal relationship.

2. You have to respect that.

Respect the fact they’ve built a successful career. Respect their goals and where they plan on going and support them in getting there. Be their number one fan and they’ll be yours too.

3. They don’t need your financial support…

Anyone who puts their job first, confidently supports themselves and knows how to handle their finances and spending. They probably already have a plan. But the hardest thing for workaholics, who have built this life for themselves is learning to share that with someone else.

4. Just your emotional support.

As much as they might love what they do, every job has daily stresses. Stresses they used to handle on their own. They might come home after a rough day and maybe they’ll take it out on you. Maybe they’ll complain and vent. But everyone needs to sometimes. Just be there for them, even when it’s hard. That’s what they need, someone emotionally supporting them and reminding them whatever it is, it will be okay.

5. As hard as they work…

It’s a trait a lot of people admire in them and strive to be more like. The work ethic of people like this is something average people can’t keep up with. Their ability to be so in the zone puts even the best workers to shame.

6. Remind them to have fun once in awhile.

But as serious as they are and as much as they care about what they are doing, sometimes even they need to step away from their work. Remind them about a life outside of the office. Do something fun.

7. They’ll go in early and work late.

They’ll be the first one in and they’ll probably be the last ones to leave. And it’s not like they’re trying to make things difficult for your relationship, it’s just how they are programmed. So when they get home late and bags are under their eyes and they don’t have the energy to give you their undivided attention and they want to relax, let them. Be present because even if they don’t say it, your company matters.

8. And it’s not going to be easy.

Nothing about dating a workaholic is easy. It’s always going to feel like it’s you vs. their job and it’s going to feel like you’re losing sometimes. There will be events you go stag to because they couldn’t make it. There will be times you’re alone a lot. You’re going to fight about it and you’re going to want to walk away sometimes. You’re going to think, they don’t have time for you or they are deliberately trying to hurt you, not being around often. It’s not true. Just remember before you start dating someone like this, this is what you’re signing up for and if you can’t accept their lifestyle and the way they are, you don’t deserve to date them.

9. But it’ll always be worth it.

The question will play on repeat in your mind, ‘is it worth it?’

I truly believe if you care and love someone enough, even the short amount of time you get with them will mean more than if you spent hours with anyone else.

When you love someone you make these sacrifices and you be there for them, however, that fits and they’ll do their best to be there for you too.

Because as much as they put into their job they will give you their best too. Even when they’re tired. Even when they’ve had a rough week. As good as they are at what they do, if you can stand by someone like this and support them, they’ll love you for it. And it’s the type of love that will make you realize they’re completely worth it.

10. Because they’ll motivate you in your own career and goals.

Dating someone who is so goal and career oriented will flow over into your own life and you’ll see your own success. Dating someone like this will make you better without even realizing it. They’ll challenge you to keep up with them. They’ll help you achieve your dreams because as they are living out their own and you’re supporting them, it will come back to you ten folds.

11. And they’ll love you the best they can.

All we can hope for is someone loving us to their best ability. They won’t always be thinking about you, every minute of every day. There might be texts or calls missed and not returned for hours. But just know you are in their heart and what they are looking forward to most, more than their job is coming home to you.Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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