This Is Me Ready To Love Again


I’ve faced all my demons of the past. I’ve come to accept all my regrets and more than that learn to live with them. The ghosts no longer haunt me. The ties from old relationships that once left me tarnished no longer affect me.

My heart is healed but wary.

But this is me ready to love again.

I won’t dive right into something but rather take it slow.

I won’t throw myself at you or try to make you stay. Because where I once did things I’m not proud of, out of a sense of insecurity that’s no longer the case.

Where I once sat by my phone worked up over silence, it was there I learned to love myself in the times where I was alone.

This is me ready to love again.

I’m ready to give my best to someone most worthy. I’m ready to call myself his and not some relationship that we can’t define.

Because in my time of settling and accepting way less than I deserved, in my mind I thought what do I want. And it’s only now I’m ready to have it. More than that not fear asking for it like I did in the past.

This is me ready to love again.

This is me ready for dates and not just netflix and chill. Because I know there is someone out there who will hold open a door, pull out my chair and enjoy the moment instead of worrying about their next move.

I know slow dances aren’t just things made up in movies.

And first kisses are supposed to make you nervous.

This is me ready to love again.

To wake up next to someone who wants nothing more than to stay, as oppose to a name I can’t remember and the night of how we got there, as he tip toes out the door.

This is me ready to love again.

I want conversations late at night where our guard is completely down and secrets get whispered both in the night and in my ears that won’t repeat them.

I don’t want drunk promises that are sweet nothings and things that go forgotten.

I want to talk about the past and how we got here because while the people who reside there don’t matter, their impact is the reason I am who I am.

This is me ready to love again.

I look forward to nights out where I see only you in a crowded room.

And we’ll exchange looks that are secrets all our own.

And I’ll try and cook even if it’s not great because this is me trying to love again.

Love is never easy and it comes with quite a risk but if you are ready then I am because the best things in life are those we fear.

So even if I’m standing in front of you shaking I’m in this if you are.

For every awkward encounter that includes meeting family.

To every holiday and wedding I know I have a date.

To every simplistic night where I’d rather be with you then out. I once embraced a lifestyle quite different than that but this is me ready to love again.

This is me telling you I’ll support you. I’ll be your number one fan. I’ll be your best friend if you let me. I’ll love you like you deserve, if you promise to do the same.

I’ll sleep through the night with comfort knowing I’m not alone. Where I once woke up to calls I used to answer I won’t anymore.

Because this is me ready to love again.

And I don’t know who you are. Or maybe it is I do. Maybe we’ve crossed paths a million times and it’s me who has failed to notice. But this me ready to love again.

I’m ready to stop running. I’m ready to let someone. I’m ready for love that will last more than a night.

I’m ready for something I both fear and look forward to. Because I know love is everything it’s cracked up to be. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

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