One day, we were still held by our parents, safely tucked in while rocking us in a deep sleep. Sleeping through the whole night without any worries. We held their hands for support when we still couldn’t walk properly and we lay our heads on their shoulders when we couldn’t stand the pressure of the world on our shoulders. They turned into the first security blankets that we held tightly on until we move on to the next security blanket that we would embrace ourselves in when we sense that any potential danger was waiting for us around the corner.
The more people we get to know as we get older without getting to know ourselves first, the more we inclined to put trust into others instead of ourselves.
When we tend to put more trust in others, we don’t learn to trust ourselves whilst that’s the key to develop a bond with ourselves. When we don’t have a solid healthy bond with ourselves, we become co-dependent on others, forgetting that they are not to be used to protect us when we can’t seem to comfort ourselves first and foremost.
It’s only too normal to pursue relationships in which we can feel safe around each other, but it’s another thing when we feel privileged to act like a victim around them with every single obstacle. When we throw our arms behind us and lay low on the couch and expect them to reassure and comfort us until we feel confident again to continue the day. Or getting mad because you didn’t get the reaction that you were wishing for.
If we immediately hide underneath the blanket once we feel uncomfortable or inflicted to do something about our own issues, we might never come to the point to be completely committed to ourselves, neglecting not only our own worth but also the time and care that others have spent on us with the best of intentions.
If we never learn to confront something heads-on and always hiding behind a person, we will never know how strong our capabilities are.
We might never find out how our thoughts can make a healthy behavior or break a toxic pattern. We will never find out the length of our boundaries or how flexible we could be to set our ego aside and think what’s the best for a situation. All in all, we voluntarily stopped ourselves from growing and learning, staying as the helpless baby that we once were, crying for attention and holding our small arms out to seek for safety.
But we are no longer helpless babies, we need to stop using people as security blankets and start to appreciate them for who they are, instead of what they can do for us.
It’s easy to hide. It’s easy to find cover. And it’s a piece of cake to blame others for our own fluctuating emotions. But it’s also a cowardly way to move through life. Like chilling on a hammock, pretending that you are in a place of tranquility while in reality, you are surrounding by a storm of fear and unresolved emotions.
It’s time to grow up and put our first step into adulthood by letting go of our security blanket(s) and mature into the kind of person that we can be proud of when we look back again years later on.