Kim Quindlen

They’re not afraid to have (healthy) arguments, because they know that when everything’s been resolved, it’s never long before someone cracks a joke that immediately dissolves the tension.

The only consistency is uncertainty.

Find your quiet time. People often think this has to mean meditating in the middle of an empty space in some kind of yoga position. But you can find your quiet time anywhere. Try driving in the car for ten minutes in silence, or sitting on the train without looking at your phone, or going on a walk and bringing nothing with you. Don’t worry about finding your thoughts. They’ll find you.

When they automatically hand you their cocktail or their plate at a new restaurant, because they know with absolute certainty that you’ll want a sip or a bite.

Work every day to remember that just because someone’s opinion is different than yours does not automatically mean it is wrong. Do everything you can to understand the lenses through which other people look at the world.

The best thing you can do in a shitty situation like this is to love yourself enough to be honest with yourself. The “I’m not looking to date right now” line can be a softer blow initially, but most of the time, it takes you a hell of a lot longer to get over it.

‘Talking’ can be understandably more appealing because it’s instant, immediate, and mysterious – you’re not silly or naive for being drawn to it.

She loves daringly and freely. She is still very much afraid of pain, but she’s had enough dark days to understand that they always end, that she always makes it out on the other side. She knows who she is outside of her relationship, she knows that she is whole entirely, without her partner. Which is why it is so easy for her to fall into love and to allow it to consume her in the best way possible.

Sometimes, being with someone who scares you just means choosing the person who refuses to let you sleepwalk through your days, your months, your years.

The innermost part of ourselves is designed to crave an intimacy more intense and deep-seated than a fling can allow for. It’s an intimacy that you can truly only find with your person. Someone with whom the love grows calmly, confidently, patiently. Someone who can make you feel all the initial thrills that come with a fling while simultaneously making you feel safe.

Real love – brave, pure, genuine love – never involves one person needing another to change. Real love is exactly the opposite; it’s loving every single piece that makes the other person whole.

What they want from you is the kind of support that is more precious than steroids, infusions, surgeries, or pills will ever be: they just want you to remind them that they’re still normal, that they still have control, and that they’re not alone in this.

You are a combination of all the lessons you’ve learned, all the feelings you’ve felt, all the choices you’ve made, all the things you’ve said, all of the battles you’ve fought, all the love you’ve given and received. And being with him, or not being with him, will never take any of that away from you.

Love is scary as shit. Sometimes it’s fantastic, overwhelming, blissful. But other times it’s confusing, or frustrating, or just plain boring as hell.

Loving the small, random things about them, like their hands or the way they run or how they pronounce a certain word.

There’s no win-win here. There never is. Either your heart is safe but completely deprived of experiencing great love, or your heart is in more danger than it’s ever been while simultaneously experiencing a feeling so special that it’s practically impossible to put into words.

You’ve done things that don’t feel like you, things you never thought you’d do, things that have kept you up at night, wondering, in sheer panic: Is this me? Is this actually who I am? Am I this bad of a person?

As far as we’ve come, people today are still confused if a woman is not married and beginning to start her family during her peak fertility years. We think we should be worried about her, and her life choices, and her happiness. Sure, women can work and have careers – but only if they are also mothers and wives, of course.