10 Uncomfortable Things That Happen When You’re Finally In The Right Relationship

Brendan Church

1. You’re unfiltered with them.

Even if you’ve had some really wonderful relationships in the past, you’ve never felt this completely yourself with someone before – never filtering your thoughts, never overthinking your texts or theirs, telling them about your fears and things you’re ashamed of, openly talking about your failures, etc. It’s both a scary and completely freeing feeling.

2. Nothing is ever swept under the rug.

There are no stupid games, no passive-aggressive conversations, no conflict-avoidance tendencies. When something is wrong, no matter how tense or uncomfortable it is, you hash it out and work through it until you can find a solution that works for both of you. Even though sweeping things under the rug has felt easier for you in the past, this is the first time you’ve finally felt less anxiety when thinking about long-term issues, because you know everything is always out in the open and that you’ll always work through it.   

3. You become okay with thinking in terms of ‘we’ instead of just ‘me.’

You don’t feel any sense of loss about your own sense of identity or individuality. But you do find yourself thinking about your own long-term goals, wants, and needs and how they will affect your partner, because the two of you have started making decisions as a team, as opposed to living two separate lives that sometimes come together and sometimes don’t.

4. You trust them wholeheartedly.

And even though you wouldn’t change a thing about the absolute trust and faith you have in them, it does feel weird to be so completely unguarded with another person after you’ve been so protective of your heart for so long.

5. You fight.

And even though it’s healthy and productive, it’s also frustrating, complicated, and often overwhelming. But the best part about it is that you know how to fight with each other – how to get your points across, how to air out your frustrations, how to take ownership for each of your mistakes, and how to discuss what’s bothering you, without ever being toxic, blindly angry, or intentionally hurtful.

6. You take on their problems and struggles without any hesitation.

Not in the sense that you feel like you have to do everything for them and fight all their battles. Just in a way where you know that when one of you is having a hard time with something, hurting from something, or experiencing failure, the other one is always going to be there to help them through it, fight it with them, and be encouraging and supportive every step of the way.

7. When you’re wrong, you apologize, even though you hate it.

And it sucks and it’s humbling and it tastes bad in your mouth, but you do it because you care enough about this relationship to take responsibility for the moments where you’ve screwed up or been hurtful. And because this person matters so much more to you than your own pride does.

8. You feel vulnerable.

Because you’ve never loved so strongly or felt so loved before – and it’s something you couldn’t bare to lose.

9. You know that they hold you to a high standard.

You know that they believe in you and are proud of you and that they want to grow with you every day. And while you know that they absolutely love you for who you are, you also know that they’re going to call you out if you’re being lazy or complacent or passive about your own life and your own goals. They see so much potential in you, and even though that often leads you to some intimidating paths, it also means that you feel more supported and encouraged to consistently step out of your comfort zone.

10. You feel like they know you better than anyone else in the entire world.

And even though it’s scary, it also makes you feel really good. Because for the first time, you feel completely seen and understood and loved – loved for your best qualities, but also loved despite all of your flaws. It’s a bizarre and uncomfortable thing to feel this known, but it also makes you feel happier and more ‘okay’ than you’ve felt in a long time. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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