Here’s The Kind Of Relationship You Should Wait For

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Wait for a relationship that is filled with goodness but that is completely imperfect – so that you can understand and experience how much better love is when it’s real and human as opposed to perfect and flawless.

Wait for a relationship that makes you want more for yourself, because you’re with someone who believes in you so much that they’re never going to let you settle into a comfort zone when they know you could be going so much further. Wait for the person who encourages you and constantly challenges you, without ever making you feel like you’re not good enough or that you’re unworthy of love.

Wait for a relationship that teaches you how to fight the right way. A relationship that shows you that you don’t have to yell and scream and say hurtful things to protect yourself, but that you also don’t have to bury your feelings and sweep everything under the rug in order to be part of something ‘healthy.’ Wait for the relationship that shows you it’s okay to fight, as long as you do it the right way – meaning you express your feelings and your own pain, but you also willingly listen to the things you might be doing wrong, too.

Wait for a relationship that makes you calm. The kind of relationship where just having them by your side makes you feel more at peace and more steady.

Wait for the relationship that makes you think in a different way than you ever have before, but without ever losing sight of yourself and of who you are. Wait for the person who shows you a whole other world without ever trying to force their way of thinking onto you. Wait for the person who teaches you things and wants you to teach them, too.

Wait for a relationship that makes you care about other stuff less. Not the important stuff – just the stupid stuff that causes you to waste so much energy worrying about nothing. Wait for the relationship that helps you to stop thinking about status and self-importance and image and brand and all those other awful concepts. Wait for the relationship that makes you feel like a thousand pounds have been lifted off your chest as soon as you see how silly most things really are.

Wait for a relationship that scares you. But only in the sense that it makes you aware of just how big and how fragile your heart can get. Wait for the relationship that shows you that vulnerability can still feel really wonderful, even when it feels scary.

Wait for the relationship that makes you feel more like yourself than you ever have before. The relationship that brings out pieces of you that you’ve always wanted to come alive, and the person who makes you feel safe enough to just be you. Wait for the relationship that gives you this beautiful gift, and you will never regret a single second. TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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