The Unedited Truth About Why You Suck, Based On Your College Major



Philosophy majors were 90% dudes who were constantly quoting Nietzsche between bong rips, and then 10% random girls who would roll their eyes in class because they knew they were without question smarter than everyone. Philosophy majors are instinctually judgmental, and definitely mutter under their breath or talk shit about you in a group text with their other friends. They’re rolling their eyes at this right now as they read it, and saying that it’s automatically incorrect.


English majors care WAY too much about what other people think of them, and are constantly on the defense of their choice to get an utterly useless degree. They spend way too much time curating their coffee table books to back up the fact that they’re actually interesting, intelligent people, and will NEVER admit that their favorite movie is not in fact something like Magnolia and is actually Stepbrothers. They’re way too sensitive and need to stop worrying about what anyone thinks, take a nap, and chill out.


Communications majors only majored in Communications because they are incredibly indecisive and non-commital. They likely got to the end of their senior year and realized that ~oh shit~ they still hadn’t declared, and this was their only option to still graduate on time. Communications majors are all people who wish they were majoring in something else, but couldn’t figure out how to do it.


Without question the most annoying asshole you have ever met.


Biology majors are creepy AF. They frequently are the people who say things like, “I could get away with murder,” and, “Dexter is my spirit animal.” They definitely make weirdly long eye contact and probably would have to admit to watching you sleep.


Engineering majors are slightly socially inept, and don’t know how to properly deal with confrontation. They skirt around issues and pretend like they don’t really care about something when it actually horribly bothers them. They definitely whine too much, and have complained to their mom about how “no one understands them.”


A PoliSci major is constantly trying to reinforce how smart they are. They engage in “dialogues” when no one else was interested in participating in them, but are adamantly against seeing anyone else’s side. They’ve defended Trump because like, “He’s not THAT bad when you really break it down.” They’re definitely your least favorite person on Facebook.


An Economics major is without question a straight, cis, white dude who liiiiiiiives for mansplaining things. He brags about things like where he goes on vacation and how many interviews he landed straight out of college. He’s just kind of a dick and while he recognizes it, he isn’t interested in changing it.

Women’s and Gender Studies

Constantly. Is. Yelling. A W&GS major doesn’t understand the philosophy of catching more flies with honey. Everything is a big deal and they have approximately 10,000 feelings about it. They purposefully try to make other people uncomfortable, and then rub it in when they’re successful. They’re always angry and always tweeting about how angry they are. You will probably end up muting them after about 3 months.


Nursing majors are the overbearing, Jewish mother you never wanted. They are a walking Web MD who will automatically (even if it’s unintentionally) make you think that you are dying of cancer because you complain about having a sore throat. Plus side? Always has condoms.

Social Media

A social media major is the person at the party who just will not stop trying to make jokes and be the center of attention – even if they aren’t funny. They get offended when people don’t follow them on Twitter or laugh at them or constantly tell them what a special snowflake they are.

Creative Writing

They are totally handwriting “the next great American novel” in a moleskin featuring a tortured soul who is working out his “demons” by being sexually adventurous in Brooklyn. They are the worst person you’ve ever met. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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