Karley Sciortino

Articles by
Karley Sciortino

How Not To Make Money

My next crap job was working behind the bar at an English pub. They don’t tip in England, so bartenders just get paid an hourly fee. I made £5 an hour, which I’m almost positive is below minimum wage.

Turning 27 Forced Me To Change My Entire Wardrobe

I immediately went home and manically threw out all of the trashiest clothes in my closet. This included all of my see-through tops (i.e. 50% of my wardrobe) and things like plastic stripper heels and the $19 mini-dresses made of neon pink mock-lace that I wore almost every day this past summer.

How To Be A Disaster

Sometimes it’s OK to go on a six month downward spiral, as you long as you’re chic about it. Basically, there’s a right way and a wrong way to be a disaster. Like, you can’t just show up to your abortion wearing sweat pants. What if you ran into a street style photographer on the way there?

Consuming Bodily Fluids

We all know what it feels like to want to be so close to someone that merely pressing yourself up against their body is not enough, and the only way to achieve the desired level of closeness would be to literally cut them open and crawl inside their ribcage, submerge yourself in all the weird junk that lives beneath their skin.

Dating 101: 20 Secrets (That Are Not Really Secrets) About Dating

And finally, the real secret to dating (and life) is just to be the most amazing version of yourself possible. It sounds corny, but it’s true! Don’t be one of those loser people who sit around smoking weed, doing nothing and hating the world all day, because no one loves them.