Karen Noble

Take Rivers Cuomo. He took a vow of celibacy and then he swears his music and his voice improved. So maybe I have secret talents and superpowers that will burst forth once I’ve not had sex for the appropriate duration.

You always click on those headline-grabby articles on Yahoo! or People about “Taylor Swift’s Latest Break Up” or “You’ll Never Guess What Selena Said!”

I don’t ever dress the way I envision myself dressing. I see all these cute outfits on fashion blogs but then I just pull on a sweatshirt and jeans.

When I have headphones on and I fart thinking no one else can hear it like an idiot.

I love you more than Bruce Willis, Nicolas Cage and Liam Neeson combined.

We have to try to touch with our hearts and minds since our bodies can not.

Know how to dress and how to mix a drink. Two very easy things to learn, and everyone who wants to be impressive to their desired gender can do it.

How about just being nice to all people and shutting up so I don’t have to school you every single day?

The culture will tempt you and you’ll definitely want to try and fit in better at the next class. (Up to you how important that is!)

Try to immediately become friends. Hang out and get coffee and laugh and act normal. Feel weird about not kissing goodbye.

I thought, “I am a different person now. I am strong. I am confident. I should do my psyche a favor and confront this person.”

Go through your phone and delete anyone you no longer talk to or anyone who sucks and makes your life worse.

Their next partner looks pretty much exactly like you.

It’s so romantic, and I am so jealous, I could die.

We were always at each other’s throats, able to magically tear each other apart and push each other’s buttons epically.

You can’t stop thinking about their lips. What kind of lip balm were they using? That’s all you’re thinking about. Totally.

You go out together to a party or bar, ostensibly to wingman for each other, but just end up going home together.

Your best friend has probably been around longer than your boyfriend. They are reliable, loyal and entrenched in your life.