Maybe you want a solid, Godly relationship but you’re feeling a little discouraged. The dating culture is just so crazy and it seems like all the good ones are taken!
Or maybe you are in a relationship but it’s a little rocky. You’re not sure how to include God in it. I mean, you want to, but you don’t even know where to start.
Or perhaps you are dating someone wonderful but noticing that it’s getting harder and harder to navigate the modern dating world (especially as a Christian).
I know that it’s getting harder and harder to know what’s okay and what’s even considered dating now days. There’s talking, dating, and a relationship. What’s the difference? Where do you stand?
It seems like more people hang out in the land of “it’s complicated” instead of in clarity.
But don’t you deserve confidence and clarity more than confusion and insecurity?
I want to share five tips for dating from my husband’s perspective that will hopefully encourage you:
1. Be positive.
Guys don’t mind a little venting now and then, we all have our bad days! But remember not to turn him into your emotional punching bag.
A guy won’t always know what to say and won’t always handle it right. He’s a person, not perfect.
Go to God, call your mom, or ask a friend, just don’t dump it all on one guy.
“Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.”
— Philippians 2:14-15
2. Respect yourself and honor God in your own life.
Don’t demand that he respect you and then turn around and not respect or hold yourself to that same standard. Walk the walk in your private life and in your public life. Don’t change your morals, values, or boundaries just to impress him or keep him around.
When a woman respects herself and her love for the Lord shines, it makes her 10x more attractive.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
— Proverbs 31:30
3. Take care of yourself, but don’t try so hard.
We don’t care if your hair looks perfect or if you think that dress makes you look fat.
Guys can appreciate when a woman puts in a little effort to look nice, but if you’re constantly looking in the mirror or being vain about how your hair looks, it’s a major turn off.
Be confident in how God made you.
“Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
— 1 Peter 3:3-4
4. Be straightforward.
If you don’t know how he feels or where the relationship his headed, ask! don’t play into the dumb games by not asking where you stand just because you’re afraid you might not get the response you hope for. If he’s leading you on or acting like you’re dating but unwilling to commit, you only affirm that it’s okay if you just go along with it and that doesn’t make the problem any better.
If he can’t give you a straight answer, drop him. But if it’s the other way around and you can’t give him a straight answer, if you’re playing games or unwilling to be honest, don’t be surprised if you get dropped.
“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”
— Proverbs 24:26
5. Look him in the eye.
Eye contact shows respect, interest, confidence, and intentionality.
Talk about the hard things early on instead of just saying, “we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” That doesn’t mean be clingy or overly serious on the second date. That’d be weird. But do look him in the eye and be intentional discussing important things before you get too serious.
If he’s not man enough to handle your intentionality, he’s not man enough to handle a woman of character and confidence.
Don’t waste your time with a boy.
“But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). It is willing to yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).”
— James 3:17