How To Deal With Your SO’s Friends (That You Kind Of Hate)


Whether we like to admit it or not, the reality is that your girlfriend’s friends can have a direct impact on the course of your relationship …and whether your relationship survives or not.

This is because women tend to believe and listen to what their friends tell them (and comment about) with regard to their boyfriend and their relationship with them …especially if it’s in the form of an advice.

Underestimating the power of your girlfriend’s friends is one of the biggest mistakes I see guys make …and the result can be disastrous.

Let’s take an example of this…

A simple comment such as:

“I think your boyfriend doesn’t spend enough time with you”

…can set off a snowball of thoughts in a womans mind.

Unconsciously, women can sometimes tend to follow what others have told them or even may consider what others might think towards them as a result of these comments.

So, not only can she begin putting the spot-light on you more critically as a result of these comments, but she might also feel the spot-light is on her from her friends at the state of her relationship with you.

This, overtime, can result in you being dumped.

Programming Your Girlfriend’s Mind

To maintain a healthy relationship and avoid the mess caused by other people, you must make sure that your relationship as a couple is much stronger than any friendship she holds outside the relationship… especially the relationship with her friends.

Even if you hate your girlfriend’s friends, you must work towards getting them over on your side …or at least neutralizing them so they don’t cause any problems between you and your girlfriend.

How is this done?

What you need to do is implement a two-pronged approach:

  1. Maintain A Constant Presence: One of the biggest mistakes a lot of guys make when they get into a relationship …is isolating themselves from their girlfriends friends. This is bad because you not being around makes it easier for any friend (or friends) to begin planting seeds of doubt into her mind about you.However, the more you are around (and socialize with her friends) …the less likely they are to do this. You’re on the scene and you’re marking your territory …and this makes it more intimidating for any rogue friend to begin launching back-handed attacks on you. It actually makes it more likely they’ll provide positive feedbacks instead of negative comments.
  2. Matching Her Lovemap Components: As I said, you must make sure that your relationship with your girlfriend is stronger than any other relationship she has. This does not mean controlling your girlfriends relationships with others …but instead elevating your relationship with your girlfriend above any other relationship she may hold. How is this achieved? Simple – by matching her Lovemap components more closely than any of her friends do.When you match someones Lovemap, not only does this have the effect of tying your relationship with the person together much more closely …but is what psychologically makes a person fall in love and see you as “The One”. And when a woman thinks of her boyfriend as “The One” …any negative comments any friend might make in your direction will not have nearly the same effect as they would have before. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

John Alex Clark is a Relationship & Life Coach. He is the founder of the website Relationship Psychology.

Keep up with John Alex on Twitter and Website

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