I Met the Owner of America's Largest Private Collection of Haunted Objects, And Now My Life Will Never Be The Same

I Met the Owner of America’s Largest Private Collection of Haunted Objects, And Now My Life Will Never Be The Same

This girl was the kind of beautiful that is almost irritating. Looking at her was like looking at a real-life equivalent of the uncanny valley. I could describe her but why bother? You’re already picturing the version you know best. And I should probably also mention that she was dressed like Janet from The Rocky Horror Picture Show in white, barely-there lingerie.

Grace had been participating in a local screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show when Mikey called to ask her to come in and lend a hand with tonight’s sale. Grace was in such a rush to get here that she forgot to grab a change of a clothes on the way.

Of course no one had considered her outfit to be much of an issue; not even Grace who assumed she was only going to be around a couple of gay dudes, maybe Old Scully, and the seller who was a woman named Janet (she had entered behind Grace but I barely noticed.)

The overly exposed beauty queen forcefully waved at me as she guided the other woman over to the chair positioned across from us. Grace’s awkward gesture caught me by surprise and it took a moment to figure out why she had done that to me. I realized my mouth was hanging open and I had been staring at her as she approached the table in what seemed like slow-motion. I blinked and quickly looked away as I totally for-sure played it off.

“Thanks for telling me some Rand-O was here,” Grace said with a cold scowl as she turned and started to exit the interrogation room.

“Sorry. I forgot you were in… that,” Mikey said, nodding at the half-naked hot girl’s attire. Grace let out a scoff and left, slamming the door behind her as Mikey turned to me and said, “I didn’t forget.”

“Aw, that’s not right,” I replied in a chastising tone. “…But thank you.”

Mikey held up his closed fist and we bumped knuckles. He then turned to address the woman sitting across from us as he smiled politely and said, “My apologies. This is my associate, the writer Joel Farrelly…”

Mikey’s word-choice made me scoff and I added, “The ONLY one.”

“I’m sorry to ask you to go through all of this again…”

Janet held up a hand and said, “PLEASE, for the money you’re paying… Plus, it’s kind of nice just to talk about all of this with someone who doesn’t think I’m, you know… Bat-shit insane?”

Mikey nodded and gave her a genial smile. “Happy to help.”

“And you HAVE. More than you may ever know. My sister… ”

There was a very abrupt pause and then finally Janet continued, “She would’ve liked you.”


About the author

Joel Farrelly

When Joel isn’t writing creepy-ass short stories, he can be found scripting and acting in subversive comedy sketches on YouTube. You can follow Joel on Twitter or support him on Patreon, if you’re into that.