What I Love (And Hate) About Blowjobs

Shutterstock
Shutterstock

Sometimes when I have him in my mouth I look up and I think, “I could do anything to you right now.”

They look so stupid when you’re blowing them. They’re all blissed out with their eyes rolling all around in their head. Or you’re making eye contact with them as you blow them because that’s what the magazines tell you to do. I always get my hair in my eyes so it’s probably less sexy, but they don’t seem to notice cause I’m working my magic on their dick.

Just blink every once in awhile, buddy, you’re scaring me.

The worst ones put their hands all in your hair and fuck it up. The ultimate worst push your head down, but I don’t fuck with those dudes anymore. If you wanna try that, you’re gonna get a little more teeth on your precious thin-skinned dick than you bargained for.

The good ones react just the way you want them to: panting, moaning, writhing around. They aren’t thinking that at any minute you could bite down, or yank too hard on their balls. You wouldn’t anyway, would you? No, you just think about it sometimes. But I always thought that if I were gonna kill a man I would do it while giving him head. They’ll tell you anything you want if you’ve got your lips around their pride and joy. You can get whatever you want from them: oh baby, give me a diamond, give me a treat, give me give me give me. And they’ll say they will, because their brain is shut off and all they can feel are those nerve endings humming and that vacuuming motion of your mouth. If you hold them to those promises, well, that’s up to you.

But don’t get me wrong, I really truly do love giving a good blowjob, cause nothing’s better than when you finish and the dude doesn’t even remember his own name. You get a mouthful of frothy, salty cum as your reward. I’ve done so many for various boyfriends and random guys that I don’t have to focus as hard anymore. It’s going through the motions for most of them.

A blowjob is gonna make any man happy – period. They love that shit. I’m good at them; they all tell me in breathless tones how good I am when I suck down their cum after making them bust like a freight train.

It’s fun to slide down their body and then hear them gasp when you slide that whole length right down your damn throat. The further you can slide it, the better the spit for lube. Then when you get bored with routine licking and sucking, you add a hand or two and they really flip shit. My favorite thing to do is make a fist at the tip and then slip my tongue through it really slowly, squeezing just a little as I slide his dick through said fist. He hits the roof every time.

Once you really get going and you cough up a little spit from your throat, you can get as many inches as you want down your throat. Little by little, girl, and then you can conquer it. TC mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog