19 Things You Should NEVER Say Right After Sex

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Found on AskReddit.

1.

“I’m so sorry.”

2.

“Your services are no longer required.”

3.

“I fear my orgasm has left me a cripple.”

4.

“Don’t worry, I’ll put you and your coffin back down in the grave before I leave.”

5.

“You can pick any prize on the second shelf.”

6.

“That’ll do, pig…That’ll do.”

7.

“Thank you for coming.”

8.

“I would say that overall, that went pretty well.”

9.

“The door is over there.”

10.

“I better go before your husband gets home.”

11.

“That was great. Sorry I called out your sister’s name.”

12.

“We can NOT tell mom and dad about this.”

13.

“It’s not that weird, we’re barely related.”

14.

“I want to have your abortion.”

15.

“Now bake me a pie, mother.”

16.

“You have been a marvelous audience. Let’s give a big hand to my partner—isn’t she lovely? We’re going to take a short break now, but hang around for our second set. Don’t forget to tip your waitstaff—they’re working hard for you.”

17.

“Now go. GET OUT.

18.

“Thanks, Mom!”

19.

“So…want to watch Netflix now?” TC mark

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