1. Turning over as soon as we’re finished and grabbing her phone. We like attention and feeling like we did a good job too, damn it!
2. Waiting for me to take all our clothes off. Take mine off!
3. Starfishing, or not taking some initiative. I mean, I’ll do the heavy-lifting, but ya gotta put SOMETHING into it!
4. Going bananas when reversed cowgirl, it doesn’t bend that way!!
5. Thinking we are in it just for the physical pleasure, some of us do want some emotional connection as well. Also, make and maintain eye contact, that is a huge plus.
6. I’d rather have a BJ with less teeth and more hands than less hands and and more teeth.
7. Expecting me to always initiate.
8. The amount of grip they use for hand jobs. It’s a penis, not a poisonous snake you’re trying to choke to death.
9. Overselling it. Too much of the “Ohhh! Yes! OHHH!” and not enough just having fun with it.
10. Pulling the foreskin back too hard/ too far.
11. Pressuring me to cum. Dirty talk is fine, but the more pressure you put on me to cum the less likely it’s going to happen. Also expecting me to cum every time we have sex. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen. It doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy myself, or that you were bad, or anything negative. It just means I didn’t cum.
12. Squeezing my balls. Don’t fucking do that, it hurts. I don’t care what porno you watched where the girl grabs the dude’s balls aggressively.
13. Faking orgasms. Just don’t. Either help me get you there, help yourself (that’s hot), or don’t have one. You know what you need and I’m here to help if you want me to. All is fine, but don’t fake it.
14. If we do missionary, feel free to hug me hard or grab my ass, or kiss me, don’t just lie there, operate.
15. When you’re naked in front of us, we’re stoked to see it. No need to be insecure.
I know it’s easier said than done but trust me, we’re not thinking “eeew rolls” or “eeew stretch marks.” We’re thinking “yay boobies!”
16. As a dom I get so upset when my subs know they have a safe word and won’t use it for fear that I would be upset at them for using it. These words are given for safety purposes, not saying them hurts our interactions with one another.
17. Not getting out of their own head. I can practically feel it when they’re worried about performing, thinking too critically, or worried about things.
It’s like dancing, it’s much better to just enjoy the moment and go with the flow when you’re not thinking about what steps and rhythm are next.
18. No, I was not good to go again a few minutes later! I never knew that kind of pain before. Felt like I tried to fuck a sledgehammer.
19. Expecting us to read your minds. You’re all different. If we aren’t doing it right for you, let us know and we’ll change it up, otherwise, we’ll just do what worked for the last girl until we’re told otherwise.
20. When you’re getting nailed from behind, stop trying to counter the pounding motion. You end up going in the same direction and fucking it all up.
21. Put your ass up, way up, you think it is up, but it is not.
22. While riding in reverse cowgirl, please don’t put all your weight in your hands when they are on my legs just above my knees. There are nerves there that hurt like hell when you death grip that area with your weight.
23. Blurting out stuff that’s completely off-topic.
24. Unexpected finger in your asshole.
25. Dry hand jobs. No bueno.
26. ALWAYS shake those boobs! You don’t need to hit me with them, but let me know you know how damn sexy you are. Boob jiggle is half the reason we like your body!
27. Teeth. Do not use teeth. No one likes a potato peeler.
28. Sometimes I just want to hold your hand. That is not a cue to start stripping. Just cuddle for a bit, we’ll get there.
29. Not showering for three days and then expecting me to go down there.
30. The thing about men is that when we want to have sex with some girl, we want to have sex with HER, not a wannabe pornstar. Just be yourself.