1. “You know the definition of the word wholesome? You are my new definition for that.”

Something along those lines, kind of weird, but man did it feel good to get it. I couldn’t stop smiling.

2. That I’m like a piece of furniture. I don’t do much but people notice when I’m not there.

3. “You look comfortable.”

Not as in I looked relaxed. She meant I looked comfortable to rest, lean, or lay on. At first, I asked if she was politely saying I was fat. She explained that I had a look about me of being someone who would comfortable to cuddle with and not hog space or covers.

4. My friends and I were talking about what kind of potatoes we’d be. One of my best friends told me, “You’d be a loaded baked potato. People pay extra for that good shit!”

5. My 4-year-old son told me I smelled like music. When I asked what kind of music, he said, “Music you dance to.” Still the best compliment I have received to date!

6. From a teacher: “You’re like a barb-wired fence, maybe something gets past you, but it leaves tattered pieces behind.” (I’m not very attentive, but somehow I manage to pick up the info I need and use it appropriately.)

7. I work retail and was told this by a customer: “You’re so nice, you must have been bullied in high school.”

8. “You look gay today” by one of my great Nan’s friends. She had meant happy but it made me laugh so hard I choked on my drink. Thought she had excellent gaydar, turns out she just thought I looked happy.

9. I’m petite so there was one time somebody told me that I must be “easy to maneuver.” Not sure if that is a compliment…?

10. An old lady once told me she wishes she was 60 years younger, then she would “give me some confidence.” It was the most unsettling, funniest, and somehow most charming compliment I’ve ever received.

11. A teacher in high school told me several times that I had a perfectly shaped head.

12. The piecer who pierced my ears back in August told me my ears were perfect and to call her if anyone said otherwise and she would fight them for me.

13. Every time I see her, my gynecologist always says, “You have such a CUTE little cervix!”

14. Someone told me that they liked talking to me because I made them use their whole brain. I dunno. It’s weird, but it was nice to hear.

15. I’ve been told that I have exceptionally smooth balls. Like two hard-boiled eggs in a balloon full of downy fabric softener…

16. “Your leg hair looks sexy.”

17. “Your penis is harder than old chicken.”

18. “You finally look like a human being.” It happens every time I get a haircut.

19. I went to my 25th high school reunion and a woman I knew then didn’t recognize me. When I told her my name she said, “Oh my gosh! You’re so handsome now!”

20. Random stranger while I was on a run: “NICE NECK.” I’m not saying I believe in vampires, but I made sure my windows were all locked that night.

21. “It took me a couple of decades to realize guys like you are the best.”

22. When I went to the doctor I guess they were training a nurse? They were about to draw my blood and the older one poked at my veins. She said I had nice “bouncy” veins, so they’re easy to see and draw blood from.

23. In 7th grade, I wore a fanny pack to school to hold stuff like Yu-Gi-Oh cards, which I played with at lunch. Once while walking down the hallway an 8th grader I never met before was like, “Duuude I like your fanny pack,” gave me a high five, and kept walking. I never saw him again, and miraculously nobody ever picked on me about it (to my face at least).

24. I had pink eye and the nurse was looking into the noninfected eye. “You have beautiful retinas.” Thank you…?

25. “You look like you’re good with your elbows.” Said by a 50+ year old man biking by. He then swung back around telling me I should try out for the local roller derby team.

26. “With the right makeup, you’d make a really good looking girl.” I’m a guy by the way.

27. During an internal ultrasound I once got told I have beautiful Fallopian tubes. I’ve been riding that high for years.

28. “Wow, you’re stronger than my dad” — my girlfriend, the first time I picked her up.

29. “Your freckles are so sexy. They remind me of my sister.”

30. “You remind me of a swan.”