Aries:
Drugs.
Taurus:
Whatever single candle the money left in your bank account can get you.
Gemini:
Windex for your mirrors. Self obsession stops for nothing.
Cancer:
Anything that will constantly validate you.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new.
How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on.
Buy nowLeo:
Phone chargers, and backup battery banks.
Virgo:
Nothing. You have everything. You got it four months ago, just in case.
Libra:
A fire fit. You may be at home, but you are still going to look good doing it.
Scorpio:
Lube.
Sagittarius:
Anything but the plane ticket to Hawaii you’re considering.
Capricorn:
Just convert your money to gold already, we know you’re already thinking about it.
Aquarius:
Gatorade for whatever inevitable come down you’re going to be experiencing
Pisces:
Music to cry to.
