1. Always ask yourself, “Does this directly effect me?”
I realized years ago that things that once upset me almost always had zero effect on my life, directly.
I find it funny that people get so bent out of shape over things that have no effect on them.
2. Worry most about problems you have control over. Anything you can’t control isn’t worth your time/effort/thought/energy to worry about.
3. Build yourself into a person who you like and approve of. What other people think of you will become much less important. (added bonus: more people will like and approve of you too)
4. Exposure. Life will teach you what is worth a damn and what isn’t. If you’ve survived a plane crash, there’s probably less chance of you going to pieces over a botched pizza delivery. Or at least that is what I told myself after my dad died. Turns out it’s not as much of an automatism as I thought it was, so I’d say: exposure and awareness.
5. Sometimes I ask myself if this will even matter in 6 months. 99% of the time the answer is no.
6. Live. As much as you can. You will be stripped of worry and concern for the little things.
Work a shit-ton of different jobs and you’ll have already experienced the best and the worst.
Date a bunch of people and you’ll be worn of the emotion that came with each one.
Go out and experience all the things–those that you like, those that you hate, those that you’ve never explored before.
You’ll discover what makes you happy, what your true dreams are, and what helps you relax. You will understand yourself and your life. The primary cause of “not giving a damn” is not caring less about everything, it is caring more about what matters.
7. Avoid attaching yourself to outcomes. Instead, focus in the process and be OK with how things turn out.
8. You need to change your philosophy toward life. Here’s the one that helped me, it’s simple and true. We’re all going to die one day, and everything you care about will die with you. Every person who has judged you will be dead, every insecurity you have will be dead, every little thing that upset you will be dead, everything you were afraid of will be dead. All of it. Every person and thing. So… why care? Why stress over things that aren’t important? Just try to be happy and do what you want to do.
Getting upset, or giving a damn, is a reaction. Realize you’re reacting in that way. Ask yourself if it’s worth it. It’s probably not. Then stop giving a damn.
9. Every time you realize your heart race rising or thoughts racing just ask yourself, does any of this actually matter? Am I gonna die today? Are you gonna die today? No? Good. Keep on going then. And remember the less you care about your own image, the more people will care about you and want to help you. Nobody wants to help someone who can’t look out for themselves cause they know that if you can’t breeze through your own life, you cant help them breeze through theirs.
10. When you realize that most other people’s opinions are (1) irrational, (2) worthless, and (3) have zero impact on your life, then you stop giving a damn about what they think.
11. You need to find out what you truly care about, and then you need to make progress toward that thing.
When you do this, you naturally become much less reactive to your daily annoyances.
12. Start by convincing yourself that nothing really matters, everyone makes mistakes, nobody is perfect, and everybody dies.
13. Read the book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” by Mark Manson. No joke. It’s amazing.
14. You just have to remember that eventually the sun will expand into a red giant and swallow up the earth, obliterating everything and everyone on this planet. One day no one will ever know that you lived, not even through archaeological record. In reality, no single choice you make matters. Nothing matters. Giving a damn about anything is utterly pointless.
When nothing matters, you’re free. Don’t live your life for anyone else. Don’t feel obligated to do shit for people who make you unhappy. Choose to give a damn only about the things that make you happy. Stop being where you’re supposed to be and start being where you want to be. When everything ends forever, it won’t matter if you if you were the best bean counter to ever exist, what matters is if it made you happy.
15. I realize that most people are focused on themselves and often times don’t ever give me a passing thought. nobody gives a shit about me and that’s great.
16. Realize you only gotta care about the opinions of the people closest to you.
17. You need to love yourself unconditionally. Once you do that, you make a iron-clad plan for every single day and always keep your “to-do’s” at the forefront of your mind.
Being busy PLUS feeling good.
18. Realize you can live with the worst case scenario.
19. Frankly I think something horrible has to happen in your life that gives you a perspective on what to give a damn about.
See some horrible stuff has happened to me this year. I work where my mum died and she was 1 month into being 64. I still walk through those doors with this knowledge.
It made me recognize when to choose my battles, and when things need to be let go of.
20. Work in retail/customer service. Part of giving a damn is thinking people are, in some sense, better than you. You feel that you need to give a damn because of the expectations you think people have of you.
Then you meet the guy who changes his order 3 times, going UHHHHHH the whole time, and you realize that people are like you, and some people are dumber than you.
21. It is quite easy to not give a fuck when others present are giving an absurd amount of fucks.
Next time you see someone needlessly giving away fucks, try outdoing them by an order of magnitude higher. Suddenly they’ll become the one trying to reassure you that no fucks should be given.
22. Honestly? That was easy. I learned that there wasn’t anything more important than myself, and that I didn’t have to care about anyone but myself.
Unlearning ‘not giving a damn’ has been a massive, exhausting, and uncomfortable process that’s left me regretting ever being apathetic. Caring about people is hard, but it’s not as hard as watching the people you don’t care about change, grow, hurt, and heal without you.
I know it the opposite of the advice you’re looking for, but given how easy it is to not give a damn, I’m hoping this warning might be more useful. Don’t try to ‘not give a damn’. It’s emotionally peaceful, but so’s smoking pot 24/7, being too stoned to care.
23. Think of all the fun things you could do instead of wasting time on giving a damn. Once you realize that your time is better spent elsewhere, it gets easier.
24. You just have to realize that nothing matters. Life will go on no matter what. And people live in their own worlds, their individual opinions doesn’t affect the objective truth or your own world.
25. If you’re in a situation where you give a damn: imagine how it would be if you didn’t give a damn. Than pretend and act like how it would be if you didn’t give a damn.
26. You choose where to give your fucks, and who to give them to. Give a fuck over less things, but give more fucks to the things that matter to you. It’s like pooling your fucks.
27. Once you come to realize that you will be much happier if you live your life in your own terms and not in the eyes of others.
Once you realize that your life will never be validated in the eye of others.
28. The people you should give a fuck about will be in your life and stay there if they choose. If not, they’re not worth your fucks anyway.
29. When you don’t care, you actually need to not care. Not be angsty and angry and not wanting to care. I see people get mad and claim to not care, but you can tell they still do, they’re just in denial.
30. Don’t give ZERO fucks, just only give a fuck about things that affect you. Give a fuck about politics, give a fuck about the environment, give a fuck about your future, your health, whatever. But why give a fuck about your coworker’s gossiping or your bully’s rude comments? Don’t give a fuck about people who are dirt bags. Don’t give a fuck about how people you don’t care about view you. Honestly, give less of a fuck about your appearance in general. Unless you’re at a party or job interview or formal setting, who gives a fuck how you look or what impression you make? Let them think what they want. It doesn’t affect you.
31. Getting older helps.
32. By becoming refocused on your inner self, with complete awareness of your body’s cadence and the primal balance of retaining bare essences and purging societal impurities.
33. You have to realize if every little thing out there gets under your skin and you’re giving a damn about everything…
Then nothing is really important.
Imagine if every bit of food was ‘your favorite.’ You love everything… which means you don’t have a favorite food. You like it all.
Learn to pick and choose the things that you are passionate about that are worthy of your time and effort and those will be the things you give a damn about.
All the other stuff? DGAF.
34. I invest my fucks into things with positive returns or to things that actually matter to me.
No sense in wasting fucks on things I can’t change in any way.
35.The trick is to find the things that you actually give a fuck about. Fuck the rest.
36. Be ready to find people trying to guilt-trip you and have a stern “NO” for each of their answers. Give answers only if they really want them (and then left, because they will try to argue with you). Be firm. Showing you do not give a damn about X will sink sooner or later on them. Limit your time with this kind of people and, again, be firm.
And keep going until you became a master, my friend.
37. Simple, whenever I do something, I ask myself, is it something I need to care about?
38. Are you still alive, and without injury? Was the only thing that was hurt your pride? Then who gives a damn?
39. Get your heart broken. That’s what happened with me. In my first relationship I put in a much stronger effort than I should have trying to be religious, only for the saint of a girl to just cheat on me. I blamed God, then realized he wasn’t real, and this whole time I was trying to make this relationship with this girl work, god wasn’t real and people are always shitty. Ever since that happened there’s always a part of me that just realizes that I give absolutely no fucks about things sometimes, even if they should mean something. Kinda sad but that’s how I mastered the art!
40. Figure out what matters to you, and let the rest go.
Name all your friends and family, right now. Write it down. Make a list. That’s the people you give a damn about. No one else. That girl in the laundry mat gave you a funny look? Doesn’t matter, not on the list. Coworker thinks you’re an asshole? Doesn’t matter, not on the list.
Do the same thing with activities. What do you care about? What do you want to be good at? Make a list.
No good at painting? Is it on the list? Nope, good, fuck it then. Friends pick on you for sucking at a video game you don’t even give a shit about? Play worse, just to piss them off for a while. Doesn’t matter that you suck, if it’s not on the list.
You need two lists, and whenever anyone makes you feel shitty, check them to make sure you care.
41. Don’t confuse giving a fuck with fucking caring. One takes effort, one generates energy.
I fucking care about how things are done. I dont give a fuck if I’m not the one responsible. Make me responsible, and not only do I give a fuck, but I fucking care.
43. You learn to choose what to care about and when not to care. A true master knows when not caring is best, even if it doesn’t seem like it should be.
Take my job for example, we are expected to make a certain number of outbound calls a day to acquire prescription transfers for customers switching to our pharmacy. Most people think we should care about getting those prescriptions. But with so much emphasis on outbound call numbers, it’s better for my yearly review if I just don’t give a damn at all. So I don’t.
I meet my numbers, who cares about anything else. Management doesn’t that’s for sure.
44. Step one: lose all pride and ego.
Best of luck.
45. It’s more about selection. Think of it like a finite pool of fucks. As you get older your perspective widens and you only have so many fucks to give, so you assign them to the big things like family, your health, or helping those less fortunate. After that you naturally don’t have any fucks left to give about Susan’s issues with the tone of your email.
That’s obviously a bit glib but it is all about perspective. When you’ve lost a close friend or family member or had a health scare, you realise how little some stuff really matters.
Unfortunately I don’t really think you can learn to give fewer fucks, it just comes with experience.
46. Examine all events from the perspective of the universe. Universe don’t give no fucks about puny humanity!
47. You need to realize if the situation makes you tired or gets you thinking negatively or impacts you negatively, it’s time to stop giving a damn. Just let it go.
48. Move to a big city and try to remain genuine to others, in about 2 weeks you’ll see.
49. It took me a long time to figure out. Through a lot of anxiety and some therapy I have found I worried about everything. Now I think, if this doesn’t get done is anyone going to die? Nope, then who gives a damn.
50. No one truly gives no fucks. It’s just some people give less fucks than others and can hide it better when they do actually give a fuck. Someone who gives no fucks at all is just a sociopath.