1. If you don’t think about something, or it has no relation to you, then you don’t care. But if you do have something in mind, then you do care. Do you like the color of the trash can in this room? You probably don’t think of it because you actually don’t care. There’s a big difference between not caring and not wanting to care.
2. Some people are “gallon people” and some people are “pint people.”You’re a gallon person. You want to give a gallon, and you expect to get a gallon in return. He’s a pint person. He only wants a pint, and when you give him a gallon, he doesn’t want it; it overflows and is wasted. Then when you expect a gallon to fill you back up, he only has a pint to give. He’s never going to be able to give you what you need; you need to find it somewhere else — or better yet, within yourself.
3. You know, you’re not responsible for other people’s feelings.
4. You use the word ‘should’ a lot. You should do this, you should do that, you should be better – I want you to take that word out of your vocabulary. From now on, there’s no such thing as ‘should’. Think instead that there are things you can do, and things you can’t do. Sometimes you’ll hit a wall and find you can’t do something – that’s okay. Having limits is not a bad thing. Everyone has things they can’t do.
5. You don’t have to forgive them. Some things are unforgivable.
6. You don’t want to die – you just don’t want to live in that misery.
7. Your emotions exist to motivate your behavior. And they do a pretty good job of it, since they’ve helped all kinds of animals survive up to today. But they come from the most ancient part of the brain and they’re not very sophisticated. They can be like the smoke alarm that goes off when you’re cooking in the kitchen. You’d rather have the smoke alarm give you a few false alarms than to fail to alert you to a real fire. So with an emotion, you can say, “Thanks, jealousy/shame/anxiety. I know this situation seems scary and you’re just trying to protect me. But what you don’t know is…” and then fill in those facts that your conscious mind is aware of, but that you’re emotions aren’t taking into account.
8. Small changes are usually the best way to get a big result. For example, if you want to go to the gym more, you just need to take small initial steps (e.g., put on your gym shoes) and it’ll help start the momentum toward actually going.
9. Your past is real and your feelings are valid.
10. When you think something bad is going to happen stop and ask yourself what proof do you have?
11. Anxiety has no power. It is merely a feeling, a thought like any other. It can not hurt you. Being anxious about an anxious feeling causes infinite anxiety. Instead acknowledge it as merely a thought and allow it to pass.
12. Why do you have to save everyone? Why do you have to be the sole arbiter of good and right in your world?
13. Right now you’re just surviving through life but with recovery you can fully live your life.
14. Prioritize self care alongside chores and life. Do not wait until everything is done is to care for yourself – you have to do it along the way, otherwise you will never actually invest that time in your own wellbeing.
15. It’s ok to be overwhelmed if you’re looking way down the road. Maybe just try to figure out how you’re going to get through the week. If that’s still overwhelming, just cut that down to what you need to do today… if that’s still overwhelming, cut that down to what can you do in the next hour… just keep cutting it down in duration until you’ve got a period you can manage.
16. Your feelings are real, not reality.
17. How you think affects how you feel.
18. If things are to change, then you must change.
19. How do you expect yourself to approach things calmly, without getting frustrated or angry when you are always purposefully doing two things at once so that you aren’t left alone with your thoughts? Mindfulness is an art that you need to practice.
20. One day, you’ll figure out that you aren’t the problem.
21. Sometimes; it is what it is and not what you would hope it to be.
22. You’re still here, which means you have a 100% success rate at making it through the bad stuff.
23. No one is worried about you or cares what you are doing or look like. Everyone is concerned with themselves and their own life.
24. You don’t have to be miserable to be successful.
25. No one is going to think about you as much as you think about yourself.
26. Always have a purpose for your behavior. If you cannot explain why you are behaving the way you are behaving it’s time to stop.
27. Just because someone says something about you doesn’t make it true.
28. You wouldn’t be friends with someone who treated you the way you treat yourself, would you?
29. You have value because you’re alive.
30. Be kind to yourself.