Texting You Doesn’t Mean He Wants To Date You

Girl texting a boy
God & Man

You might think he likes you because he answers all of your texts. Because he doesn’t keep you waiting days, or even hours, for a reply. Because he makes an effort to talk to you whenever you need him.

Maybe he even texts you early in the morning, the minute he wakes up, which makes you think there is more to relationship than just friends. It makes you think that he likes you as much as you like him.

After all, it would be easy for him to ignore you. He doesn’t have to text you questions about how your day has been. He doesn’t have to text you about the crazy thing that happened at work that day. He doesn’t have to text you at all. He’s choosing to text you. He’s texting you because he wants to do so.

That is all true, but if he wanted a relationship with you, he would find the time to see you in person. If he wanted a relationship with you, the relationship wouldn’t exist entirely over the phone.

Texting is an easy way to make it look like he is interested. It is an easy way to keep you invested while doing the minimum effort.

All he has to do is send you a sweet message out of the blue and you feel like he cares. All he has to do is press a few buttons on a screen — and since you are so used to people ghosting you, you are flattered that he is actually paying attention.

Your expectations are so low that you think the fact he answers your messages instead of ignoring you for three days straight makes him a gentleman. And that is a dangerous way to think.

It’s nice of him to ask about your day and to tell you about his. It’s great that you can talk to him. And you know what, he probably does like you. He likes talking to you. He likes flirting with you. He likes having you in his life. But that doesn’t mean he wants anything more. That doesn’t mean he wants to date you.

You should expect more than good morning texts and same day replies. You should expect someone who shows up on your front stoop and takes you on an actual date. Someone who is there for you, in person, face-to-face.

You should expect a real relationship, not a kind-of-sort-of-relationship that exists entirely over text and snapchat.

If he texts you every single day, then he is putting in some effort. But if he has never made an effort to drive to your house, if he always has an excuse for why he can’t come and visit you, if your plans keep getting canceled again and again, then he doesn’t like you enough. He isn’t giving you enough.

That is why you need to give up on him. Because some effort isn’t enough. Because you deserve so much more than a good morning text. You deserve someone who actually shows up. TC mark


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