In 2018, I’m not going to let my anxiety hold me back anymore. I’m not going to let it control me. I’m not going to let it ruin my life.
In 2018, I’m going to say yes more. I’m going to say yes to drinks with coworkers after our shift, yes to reconnecting with old friends I haven’t seen in ages, yes to leaving my comfort zone. Even though I might end up with red cheeks and unwanted adrenaline, I’m going to push myself to be more social instead of hating myself for always being left out, for feeling like an outsider.
In 2018, I’m going to push myself to do everything I’ve been putting off. I’m not going to let myself procrastinate for any longer. I’m not going to accept the same old excuses. I’m going to send out applications for the job I want, I’m going to text the person I’ve been thinking about, I’m going to make myself act instead of wasting perfectly good time daydreaming about what could have been.
In 2018, I’m not going to let my anxiety ruin my relationships. I’m not going to turn down dates I actually want to go on because too many things could go wrong. I’m not going to desert my friends because I assume I’m going to ruin their fun if I tag along. I’m not going to let my doubts and my insecurities control me, because I’ve been letting that happen for far too long.
In 2018, I’m going to run toward the fear instead of away. I’m not going to let my worries convince me to back down from an adventure. I’m not going to let myself overthink for hours on end. I’m not going to let myself change my mind again and again out of fear of the unknown.
In 2018, I will still suffer from setbacks. There will be days when I cancel plans with friends at the last second even though I’m dying to see them because I can’t stomach the thought of leaving the house. There will be days when I dodge phone calls because I’m too terrified to find out who is on the other side. There will be days when my hands shake hard and my heart thumps even harder, even though there is no reason for me to be nervous.
In 2018, I won’t get rid of my anxiety completely, because that is impossible for me. But I will work my hardest to live to my fullest potential. I will fight through my symptoms.
I will push myself to talk to new people, even if my voice shakes while I’m speaking. I will push myself to attend interviews, even if I can’t stop fidgeting during the conversation. I will push myself to leave the house, even if I’m secretly wishing I were home the entire time.
In 2018, I will let my anxiety ruin my life a little less. In 2018, I will try my best to follow my dreams instead of using anxiety as a reason to settle.