You didn’t date her, but you told her how much you liked her. Whenever you saw her, you told her how pretty she looked and whenever you spent too long without her, you told her how much you missed her.
You didn’t date her, but you texted her from the moment you opened your eyes until the moment they closed. You made her feel wanted with your words, you made her feel special by giving her large chunks of your time.
You didn’t date her, but you shared your secrets with her. You told her things no one else knew about you. You treated her like she meant something. Like you actually cared about her, like you wanted to keep her in your life.
You didn’t date her, but you cuddled with her. You kissed her. You slept with her. You saw her at her most vulnerable and made her feel safe.
You didn’t date her, but you gave her every reason to think that one day, you would date her. You made her believe it was only a matter of time until you two became a couple.
You didn’t date her, but you still hurt her. And you should still take responsibility for what you’ve done.
It doesn’t matter whether you were her official boyfriend or if you refused to give your relationship a title. You still led her on. You still broke her heart.
So when you start dating a new girl, don’t act like she’s crazy or clingy or obsessive. When she asks questions about why you’ve been acting so distant, don’t blow them off and say something like, It’s none of your business, you’re not my girlfriend, I can do whatever I want.
Technically, it’s true. But at the same time, it’s not. Because you let her get close to you. You let her fall in love with you.
No, you didn’t date her, but you became emotionally attached to each other. You created a serious connection.
That’s why she deserves an explanation. She deserves closure. She deserves to hear why you decided to leave, to move onto some other girl, instead of having you drop out of her life as if she never meant anything at all.
Because if you do that, she’s going to question every moment she shared with you. She’s going to look back and reinterpret all of your conversations, your looks, your body language.
She’s going to think she’s a complete idiot for ever believing you cared about her. She’s going to assume she made everything up.
You might think it isn’t your responsibility to answer her questions, because she isn’t your girlfriend and she never was.
But, the thing is, you treated her like your girlfriend.
She’s not psycho for feeling like you betrayed her. She’s not crazy for wanting to know what went wrong, for wondering why you lost interest in her and found someone new.
She deserves to know.