I’m sick of meeting up with my friends and having nothing to say to them, no new stories to thrill them with, because nothing has really changed since the last time we hung out.
I’m sick of daydreaming about all of the places I want to go and things I want to do, but never following through on any of them, because I don’t have enough time or money or energy.
I’m sick of waking up with complaints about how tired I am, sleepwalking through the day until I get all of my work done, and then falling asleep three hours later than I promised myself I would.
I’m sick of doing the same exact thing, day after day, week after week, year after year.
I want a change. I want an adventure. I want something different.
I want to make more friends, drink more wine, and get more tattoos. I want to see more places, take more pictures, and learn more languages. I want to travel. I want to explore. I want to learn.
Because there must be more to life than waking up in the same bed each morning, trotting down the same steps, and eating whatever is left in the fridge.
There must be more than ordering the same food at the same restaurants and browsing through the same stores but never buying anything.
There must be more to do, more to see, more to life.
I’m tired of this repeated cycle. I don’t want yesterday to be a copy of today and the next day. I want things to change, at least a little. I want a tiny bit of unpredictability mixed in with the expected.
Because I’m sick of having identical conversations with people, where I can guess what question they’re going to ask before they ask it.
I’m sick of sitting on the same couch and watching the same reruns. I’m sick of filling my stomach with the same snacks. I’m sick of watching movies about people living their lives and wishing that I could do the same.
But that’s the thing. I can do the same. It’s my choice, my decision. The reason why I’ve stayed cooped up in this house is because that’s what I’m choosing to do. But I could choose something else.
I’m going to have to make a change, because I can’t take this repetition anymore. I can’t last through another day of boredom.
I don’t want to sit on my ass while the world passes me by. I don’t want to do nothing.