This Is The Creepiest Thing You’ve Ever Done, Based On Your Career Choice

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Writer: You’ve penned a story (or had a sick fantasy) about someone you hate dying a gruesome death.

Lawyer: You’ve plotted a murder, because you know you could get away with it if you really wanted to.

Cashier: You’ve mentally prepared an escape plan in case someone comes in and shoots up the store.

Artist: You’ve engaged in self-destructive behavior so that you’d have inspiration for your next masterpiece.

Fireman: You’ve allowed yourself to get burnt to see what it would feel like.

Driver: You’ve had the urge to jolt the wheel into traffic to avoid dealing with the person in the backseat.

Dentist: You were actually happy to cause one of your asshole patients pain.

Teacher: You’ve looked at one of your students and thought about how attractive they’re going to be when they’re older.

Therapist: You once laughed at something disturbing a patient has told you.

Pilot / Stewardess: You’ve seriously thought about who you would eat first if you ended up stranded on an island.

Bartender: You’ve flirted with the most grimy, repulsive people because you wanted a big tip.

Construction Worker: You almost didn’t correct a coworker on their mistake, because you kind of wanted to watch them get crushed or accidentally chop their own arm off.

Waiter: You didn’t just want to spit in someone’s food — you wanted to pour poison in it and watch them choke.

Doctor / Nurse: You saw a patient half-naked on the operating table and had inappropriate thoughts about what you wanted to do to them.

Police Officer: You’ve followed someone with your police car for a little too long, just because they were attractive.

Tattoo Artist: You’ve had the urge to stab someone in the eye with your needle to save them from a tattoo you knew they were going to regret.

Janitor: You’ve taken something out of the trash to keep (or eat) because it was still brand new.

Singer / Musician: Your favorite lyrics are the most disturbing ones, ones about depression and death.

Electrician: Once or twice, during a bad work day, you’ve considered sticking your finger in a socket.

Receptionist: You’ve called coworkers sir and miss to look respectful, while calling them a bitch and an asshole inside of your head.

Security Guard: You’ve thought about whether or not you could beat the shit out of anyone that walked past you.

Hairdresser: On more than one occasion, you’ve considered slitting someone’s throat or jabbing them in the neck with your scissors.

Accountant: You’ve spent time you should have spent working looking at porn.

Athlete: You’ve purposely made another player bleed and acted like it was a complete accident.

Actor: You’re used to putting on a mask and pretending to be someone else, which is why some of your closest friends don’t know the real you at all.

Maid: You’ve gone through items that someone accidentally left behind, because you wanted a glimpse at their life.

Dog Groomer / Vet: You’ve come this close to kidnapping someone else’s pet.

Mortician: You’ve become so used to death that you sometimes wish those grieving families would shut the hell up and stop crying so hard.

Unemployed: You’ve spent full days thinking about how much easier it would be to rob a bank or hold someone for ransom than to go through four years of college and pay off those loans. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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