1. We don’t want to waste our time. We’re not going to give you a chance if it’s clear that you’re not ready for a real commitment. We don’t have the patience to go on first dates that are never going to lead to seconds. So if you don’t make a good first impression on us, we’re not going to waste our time texting you.
2. We expect you to actually put in effort. We want someone to hold open the door and offer us their coat. We want someone to send us good morning and goodnight texts. But more than that, we want someone that respects us as much as we respect ourselves.
3. We know what we deserve. We don’t care if other people claim we’re too picky and need to lower our standards. That’s never going to happen. We know that we’re worthy of mind-altering love. We aren’t going to settle for anything less than that.
4. We won’t use sex as a tool. It’s impossible to pressure us into having sex. The only way we’re going to sleep with you is if we actually want to sleep with you. No other reason is good enough.
5. We actually speak up. If you make a rude comment, we’re not going to let it slide. We’re going to put you in your place so it doesn’t happen again. We don’t let ourselves get walked over — and some men think that makes us bitchy.
6. We have our own lives. We’re not going to drop everything for the new man we just met. We still have a job to do, friends to see, and family to visit. Our world doesn’t revolve around love, even though some people claim it’s all we should think about.
7. We put ourselves first. And for whatever reason, self-acceptance can come across as selfishness. We look like we only care about ourselves, but really, we’re just taking care of ourselves. There’s a difference.
8. We never lie. We might look more desirable if we leave out the fact that we just got cheated on and are at an entry-level job — but that’s part of who we are. We aren’t going to pretend to be someone else. We’re honest from the start, even if our date doesn’t like it.
9. We have strict morals. We don’t bend, even if we meet someone we really like. You could be perfect in every conceivable way, but if you’re also a drug addict, we’re not interested. We have standards.
10. We’re open with our feelings. We know our opinions are valid, so we aren’t afraid to tell anyone how we feel — even if we know they aren’t going to like it. We can get emotional in front of others, and some men don’t like that. Some men want us to play pretend.
11. We’re perfectly happy without a partner. We understand that boys aren’t everything. That it’s better to be alone than in a toxic relationship. That’s why we aren’t spending every waking minute trying to find a man. We honestly don’t need one.
12. We know how to say, “No.” We might feel guilty for turning you down or leading you on, but that’s not going to stop us from doing it. If we don’t want you, we don’t want you. We’re not going to sleep with you or continue dating you out of pity or some imaginary obligation.
13. We don’t tolerate ignorance. If you jokingly tell us to get back in the kitchen or to make you a sandwich, you’re dead to us. We don’t need a man that believes in gender roles.
14. We already feel loved. We never let the fact that we’re single get us down, because we realize that we’re surrounded by our family, friends, and pets. We might not be dating, but we’re definitely loved.
15. We refuse to lower our standards. We know what we want. We’re not going to settle for less, because we know we deserve more.