To The Man Who Made Me Doubt My Beauty

You made me feel ugly. You made me feel fat. You made me feel like I didn’t deserve your love at all. But you’re not in control of how I feel anymore. Here’s an open letter to the man who made me doubt my beauty.
Nastia Cloutier-Ignatiev
Nastia Cloutier-Ignatiev

1. I’m glad you’re gone.

Trying to please you would’ve killed me. Now that you’re out of my life, I can find someone who won’t make me question my beauty. Someone who will tell me I’m gorgeous, even when my hair is knotted and nose is runny. Someone who won’t mind when I gain a few pounds, because I’ll still have the same beautiful soul inside, no matter what the scale says.

2. Cut the false advertisement crap.

Dabbing foundation over a few pimples isn’t false advertisement. Covering up the bags under my eyes after getting only three hours of sleep isn’t false advertisement. The human body isn’t naturally ornamented. It shouldn’t surprise you when I swipe a towel across my face and the pretty colors go away. But you know what is false advertisement? Pretending to be a good guy, swearing that you love me and would never hurt me, and then fucking me over anyway.

3. My confidence doesn’t rely on men, anymore.

Once upon a time, I tortured myself by counting calories and stuffing my body into the thongs I knew you liked. My shopping cart was filled with ways to make you love me. But now, I’m smarter. Now, I dress for me. I don’t need a man to check out my ass in order for me to feel sexy. I already know my worth.

4. I want someone who values my brain over my body.

I might not have the biggest boobs, but I have a big brain. If you were a decent guy, then you would’ve stopped staring at my ass for long enough to look into my eyes and listen to what I had to say. I’m smart, I’m sweet, and I’m sexy on the inside. It’s too bad you focused on my outer “flaws” instead of seeing my inner beauty, because I’m a catch.

5. My beauty comes out the most when I’m happy.

I look the most beautiful when I’m doing something I love. When I’m talking about the subject I majored in, jamming out to my favorite song, or reading a novel by an author I’m crazy about. Beauty comes out in those tiny moments, when my inner self shines out of my eyes and smile.

6. I don’t need as much makeup as I think I do.

I’m not going to paint my lips red and spend hour on my eyes every single time I leave the house, just so I can feel like I’m something special. Makeup is empowering for some women, but not for me. For me, it’s just a way to cover up my flaws. But I’m done thinking of my face as one giant flaw. I’m going to embrace my natural look more often, because I don’t need ten pounds of makeup to feel pretty anymore. A little blush and mascara is enough for me.

7. Beauty seriously comes in every shape and size.

I might not look like a supermodel, but Heidi Klum isn’t the only type of woman in the world. There are gorgeous girls with big asses, gorgeous girls with small asses, gorgeous girls with pimples, and gorgeous girls with cellulite. My “flaws” don’t make me any less beautiful. They just make me more unique.

8. You’re ugly on the inside.

You’re hot at first glance, but after your future girlfriends recover from their orgasms and actually catch a glimpse of your personality, they’re going to become ex-girlfriends. Not everyone is as stupid as I was. They won’t stick around for long, once they realize that you’re as shallow as a kiddie pool.

9. I’m learning to love myself.

It’s still a work in progress. There are days when I feel unstoppable, and there are days when I still feel like the ugliest girl in the room. But I’m not going to let a man control my confidence anymore. Who cares what they think? I’m the one who has to look at myself in the mirror each morning, so my opinion is the only one that matters.

10. Fuck you.

I’m beautiful. Sorry you were too blind to see that. TC mark

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Image Credit: Nastia Cloutier-Ignatiev

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