9 Signs You’re Dating An ESFJ

ESFJs are the outgoing, practical nurturers of the MBTI. This type values romantic relationships incredibly highly and will go well out of their way to ensure that their partners are happy, healthy and thriving. If you’ve noticed the following nine behaviours emerging within your relationship, chances are you’re dating an ESFJ.


1. They’re planning your hangouts weeks in advance.

Every ESFJ has a bustling social calendar – but if they’re interested, that’s not going to stop them from seeing you. They’re just going to make sure they plan ahead so that they can fit you in after Yoga next Thursday, but before their lunch date with their sister, while still having enough time to plan for the charity event they have that night…

2. They remember the little details you tell them about yourself.

ESFJs have incredible memories when it comes to the people they care about. If you mentioned your favorite kind of wine in passing the first night you met them, don’t be surprised to find it sitting on the table the night of your second date. They’re keeping an internal catalog of everything you like and dislike, so they can constantly surprise you in small, thoughtful ways.

3. They’re taking a keen interest in your interests.

ESFJs show their love through assimilation. If something’s important to you, it’s going to be important to them too. They’ll take the time to learn about your favorite sport, hobby, TV show or activity – and then they’ll actively participate in it alongside you.

4. They anticipate your needs before you do.

ESFJs are preemptively attentive to the practical needs of their loved ones. If you walked to come see them, there’s a cold glass of water waiting for you on the table when you get there. The second you start to feel drowsy, they’re already warming up the car to drive you home. This type wants the people they love to feel cared for and nurtured by them – at times, it may even feel as though they’re more in tune with your needs than you are.

5. They’ve effortlessly assimilated your family and friend group.

ESFJs take their social circles seriously and as far as they’re concerned, your friends and family are their friends and family. They’re quick to introduce you to the people who are most important to them and they expect the same in return. They’ll waste no time charming your family and friends to win them over – they know how important it is that the people you care about approve of them.

6. They take each milestone seriously.

ESFJs love special occasions – be they birthdays, holidays or anniversaries – and they’re never going to miss a chance to celebrate your relationship. They’ll plan for special events months in advance, putting particular care and attention into each milestone you reach as a couple.

7. The relationship has never felt entirely casual.

ESFJs are long-term planners. They don’t date for the sake of it – they are constantly sussing out new partners for long-term potential and if you’ve made it past the first couple of dates, chances are they see that potential in you. ESFJs like the formality and security of a well-defined relationship – they probably approached the ‘exclusivity’ talk early on and aren’t shy about declaring you to be their partner.

8. Your entire life starts feeling suspiciously more organized.

Not only is your bathroom looking neater than usual but your calendar has special events penciled into it, your fridge replenishes itself and your life just seems to be running a whole lot more smoothly than it was before your ESFJ came along. This type is the master of keeping things operating smoothly and if they love you, they’re organizing your life alongside their own.

9. You’ve never felt more valued within a relationship.

ESFJs take their relationships incredibly seriously and the happiness of their partner is their number one concern. If you find yourself realizing that you’ve never been as appreciated, valued and encouraged by a partner as you are in your current relationship, there’s a very good chance that you’re dating an ESFJ. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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