1. He breaks plans.
This is honestly so irritating to me. I expect if you make plans with me that you actually follow through with them. I can let a few times slide because I realize that shit happens, but if it is happening all the time, then you are seriously a huge Corn Flake and I can’t deal with that.
2. Liking pictures of scantily-clad women on social media.
The pictures that a dude likes on social media will tell you a lot about him and what he is looking for. I once dated a guy followed about 500 accounts of fit girls/lingerie models. They are hot, we all get it and I wish I wasn’t as lazy as I am, but Jesus Christ. He literally only liked pictures of girls with giant fake boobs and who worked out in underwear and pasties. A. You are a creeper. B. You are giving women attention for all the wrong reasons. C. I’m embarrassed I know you. D. All of the above. Correct answer: D.
3. He avoids dates like the Bubonic Plague.
There’s no problem in dating someone who doesn’t have a lot of free cash flowing, but if he never tries to do anything nice for you or show you that he appreciates you, then you got a certifiable douche bag on your hands and you need to evacuate the building.
4. His text game goes like this:
Douche: Sup? – 11:47 PM
Girl: Oh, just hanging out with my friends, you? – 12:00 AM
Douche: Cool. – 1:13 AM
Douche: Wanna hang? – 2:57 AM.
Douche: Sooo… guess that’s a no. – 4:04 AM
Douche: U awake? – 4:30 AM.
Douche: R u there? – 4:31 AM.|
If you EVER encounter messages like these, change this guy’s phone number to: D-bag, do not text.
5. The saying, “School’s not really my thing.”
Unless you are the next Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg, then it probably needs to be your thing. I’m going to need to see some legitimate business plans, considering working at Dollar General for the rest of your life really doesn’t sound like your thing either.
6. Peaked in high school.
Dear God, I hope that this is a given. I just watched the episode of Friends where Monica finally gets to go out with the guy she always liked in high school and he is a total loser and still works at the movie theater: “Uh, like I’d ever give up a job like that.” I actually know guys like this that I went to high school with. Anytime I go back to my hometown they are at the bar, reminiscing on the old days when they got the cheerleaders. They now have 7 kids at the age of 28 and they are borderline suicidal. I’m really proud of all your high school football accomplishments, but it’s time to let go and put your big boy panties on and embrace life as an adult, you are 30 now.
7. He talks about you behind your back.
True story: One of my friends met up with this guy, who asked her out on a date. He got there first and started talking to a girl that knew my friend, yet he was unaware that they knew each other. He explained that he was meeting up with this girl and he wasn’t into her at all. He told the other girl that he planned to be mean to my friend the entire date so that she would get the picture. When my friend showed up, he was in horror. Naturally, later on, she was told what had been said about her before she got there. What a douche.
8. He is content with not meeting your friends or family.
If he is really into you and not just using you, he will want to get to know your friends and family. Your friends and family say a lot about you. If he is unwilling to meet them, he either wants you all to himself and he is a psychopath, or he is just a huge dud.