1. Being honest about your feelings.
My worst nightmare is to tell the person I care about exactly how I feel about them. This scenario terrifies me because from then on, I’m vulnerable, which is my least favorite feeling in the world. It would be so much easier for me to lie and say I’d like to be casual than to actually tell someone the truth about my feelings. I was once the lead role in Shell Silverstein’s The Giving Tree, which caused me to act so tough. The problem is that tough girls are not actually very tough when in comes to falling in love. That’s why we protect ourselves. I’d literally give an arm and a leg to the person I love, so to prevent myself from losing all my limbs, I’d much rather play it cool and distance myself so that I don’t fall in love again. If you meet a tough girl, she is tough for a reason. It takes a special type of man to show a tough woman that they have no intention of turning you into a stump.
2. Being affectionate.
If I randomly kiss your face, or ask you to come closer to me, then you know that I really like you. I feel like affection and chemistry with someone is something that is really hard to fake. Naturally this isn’t my thing, so when I find myself being affectionate, I know it’s real. Most men are lucky if I graze past them with my index finger, while giving them a stony look.
3. Being considered a bitch.
Just because I won’t take crap from anyone doesn’t mean that I’m not a good person. I’m upfront, I’m honest, and I think the world would go a little bit smoother if everyone was like this. It might hurt your feelings that you took me on three dates and I told you that I’m just not feeling it (in a much nicer way, of course), but it would be a lot worse if I lied and kept letting you take me on dates. It might hurt your feelings that I refused to give you my number, but that isn’t something you are entitled to. I’m never rude, I’m honest. I make it a point to not hurt people’s feelings, because that actually is bitchy.
4. Never settling for less.
Not settling for someone is probably one of the hardest things about being a tough girl because it means you are going to be alone until you meet someone who is really special and is exactly what your picky-ass is looking for. I can’t tell you how many men I’ve stopped talking to just because they did one little thing that I did not like. If you ain’t it, you ain’t it, and I’m not willing to settle for less. If you can’t give me what I want, then I don’t want you. Sorry about it. I’d rather be alone than be with someone who isn’t what I’m looking for. That’s why I’ll probably be single until I’m 87.
5. Worrying that no one will be able to handle you.
I know I’m a lot to handle and it takes a certain type of person to set me in line. I drink too much, I’m argumentative, I like getting my way, the list goes on. I have a lot of endearing qualities though and I swear I love like no other. I even take it way back to the 1800s by writing hand written love letters because I think that it is romantic and that there is something very intimate about a person’s handwriting. I just fear that no one will be able to wrangle me into feeling this way again.
6. Being tough.
It is freaking tough being tough all the time. Sometimes I really want to let my guard down, but that terrifies me. I wish that I could find someone that would tell me to trust them and that I don’t have to act that way. Being tough means that you never quite feel safe. You are constantly stressed by the pressure of acting tough all the time. It’s not easy. For once, I’d like to find the man that cares about me enough to let me know that I am safe with him and that he isn’t going to hurt me (oh yeah, and it would be nice if he meant it and actually used more than words to prove this).