16 Guys Open Up About What Men Are Really Looking For When It Comes To A Relationship

16 Guys Open Up About What Men Are Really Looking For When It Comes To A Relationship
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We literally have no idea what we’re doing when it comes to relationships. We have no idea what we want or what we’re looking for. We’re just hoping to stumble upon someone that sticks. And since guys aren’t always the most vocal about their feelings, consider these ten the dating holy grail according to millennial, male New Yorkers .

1. Not having any self-confidence is a major issue, every girl needs to love herself!

“If I’m with her it’s ’cause I like her and if she can’t get that without me saying it, that’s definitely a problem.” —Luke

“Women who don’t think highly of themselves tend to not really take care of themselves. A woman who loves herself, takes care of herself. I don’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t love and take care of herself.” —Jack

“I don’t have lots of time to spend with my girlfriend, but when I do have the time, I don’t want to have to constantly reassure her about how pretty she is.” —Corey

2. Being too flashy is a turn-off.

“I just graduated college last year and although my job pays me well, it’s really nerve-wracking to date a girl that’s all about brands.” —Bobby

“You want to keep your girl happy and buy her stuff, but if she’s all about MK and Bloomingdales, you’ll think twice.” —Daniel

“Personally, I like a girl with good taste. A lot of the times though, having good taste doesn’t mean luxury brands. It’s all about keeping the flashy under control.” —Simon

3. Wearing too much makeup isn’t something guys prefer, EVER.

“Yeah, I don’t know what the whole deal is with the eyebrows on fleek thing. I mean, they’re just eyebrows, right?” —Alex

“I’ve seen countless videos posted on Facebook about , what’s it called? Contouring? And I’m just floored about how tricky that is. First, it looks weird and then it makes you look better? I mean honestly, no one is looking at you that hard anyway. Guys are simple, we just like a pretty face.” —Dante

“Natural is always better. No one wants to wake up with glitter all over the place.” —Colton

4. Not having a job makes a girl seem unmotivated.

“Women should be self-sufficient. I get that times are hard and that a job isn’t easy to come by, but a woman who just conforms to not working or having her parents support her still is just a little sad.” —Charles

“There’s lots of artists in NYC and that’s cool. I love art and admire people who dedicate their lives to their art, but if you’re 30 and still wondering where your next meal from is coming ’cause you don’t know if you’ll have a gig anytime soon, well that kinda sucks.” —Cam

“I’m an investment banker. I make lots of money. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t have a job. Plain and simple. Not ’cause I’m expecting for her to pay for my dinner or anything, but I want to know that she’s ambitious and wants to have a good future.” —Mehmet

5. Being overly emotional is understandable, is a definite red flag.

“All of us are stressed, but when you start taking it out on me and getting angry for no reason, it’s just not cute.” —Carlos

“Men aren’t as careful about words as women are. If we say something that sounded wrong to you and you get mad, chances are we didn’t really mean it that way.” —Sam

“I don’t deal well with crying. I’m a man and if you cry I’m going to want to fix you, but I can’t cause tears make me uncomfortable.” —Eren

6. Laziness is a real turn-off.

“Girls my age should still be motivated. If she’s not motivated at my age, she won’t be 10, 20 years down the line.” —Jamal

“There’s no bigger turnoff than a girl who doesn’t make time for herself or always complains about being tired. Being tired all the time leads you to a life of routine and you lose your spunk a bit.” —Rocco

“I work like 60 hours a week. I’m tired! But I still make time to go to the gym and look good. We expect the same from you.” —Blaise

7. Party girls are fun, but they aren’t the girls guys want to introduce to their moms.

“I’m still at the partying age, but it is a turnoff if a girl only wants to do that.” —Bret

“I love going out and having a good time, but I’m not in college anymore. I want to settle down in the near future. I need a woman who is looking to settle down too and that can’t happen if you’re shitfaced every weekend.” —Don

“Partying is fun, but it can’t be all the time. I’d much rather go out for a walk or visit an art gallery on a Saturday night.” —James

8. Over-sharing can make a guy lose interest.

“Obsessive selfie posting. Can that be over-sharing? I mean, yes you’re beautiful, but must you constantly flood my feed with your selfies?” —Christopher

“Just only share what you’d want shared with you.” —Darryl

“I don’t mean like she texts me to tell me what she ate for lunch. I mean when she tells her friends everything that’s going on with us. Particularly the bad or private stuff. If you need to talk about me, it should be to me.” —William

9. Feeling entitled, whether to a guy’s finances or his attention.

“Look, it’s really annoying when girls play the ’cause I’m a girl’ card. Nothing should justify rude behavior.” —Lou

“Women’s lib happened for a reason. Nuff said.” —Scott

“All women are princesses and should be treated as such, but it’s one thing to let your man treat you like a princess and another to demand to be treated like one.” —Jim

 10. Intellectual compatibility is really important.

“I speak three languages. I graduated from an Ivy league. If all you talk about is Kim Kardashian and waist trainers, we have a problem.” —Alejandro

“Read a book once in a blue moon. Watch a documentary. Let’s have stimulating conversations!” —Jacob

“Google it. If you don’t know about it, google it. There’s no excuse to not know nowadays.” —Matt Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Fernanda Calvo

Fernanda is a native New Yorker who loves tea, fuzzy socks and stories

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