For every sincere, realistic depiction of love on screen, there’s a beloved rom-com hero who embodies chaotic evil. We’re not talking light stalking, either; there’s enough of that in rom-coms. We’re talking genuinely unhinged behavior – what you’d expect from a horror movie villain at the beginning of their origin story. And yet, we accept this sociopathic or violent or coercive behavior because it’s done in the name of love. So, lest we continue to normalize these sympathetic psychopaths, let’s call out seven rom-com characters who were not the heroes we think they are.
Noah in ‘The Kissing Booth’ (2018)
Jacob Elordi is all the rage right now thanks to Saltburn and his mid SNL appearance, but Elordi doesn’t play likable characters. He’s just seven feet tall, so people want to touch him. “Show us the receipts,” you say. “Well, look no further than The Kissing Booth,” I say. His character, Noah, is a bully who resorts to violence in almost every situation. When his girlfriend Elle refuses to get in a car with him, due to said violence, he punches the car and screams at her. When his girlfriend exhibits signs of independence, he exudes jealousy. When she dresses in cute outfits, he slut shames her. Somehow, Elle has been hoodwinked into a codependent relationship with an unstable, controlling egomaniac. But aww, she kissed him blindfolded once.
Margaret in ‘The Proposal’ (2009)
No one is saying that Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are hard to look at. It’s a mathematical fact that these two, when placed next to each other, induce slackjaw. Still, Bullock’s character, Margaret, lacks a moral compass, to say the least. When she finds out she’s being deported to Canada – which doesn’t sound awful – Margaret promises her employee a career boost if he’ll marry her. Imagine if this movie came out now. Viewers would clock her as a textbook abuser or at least a narcissist. Think of this movie from the perspective of Ryan Reynolds’ character. He is coerced into marrying his boss, then falls prey to Stockholm Syndrome and marries her. He never even gets his book published.
Daniel in ‘Love Actually’ (2003)
Much ink has been spilled about the inappropriate relationships and borderline sociopathy of Love Actually, but one villainous character always flies under the radar: Liam Neeson’s Daniel. For many, he’s the emotional centerpiece of the movie: He’s lost his wife and, despite his grief, encourages his stepson to chase a love interest through the airport. There’s meaningful staring and swelling orchestral music. But wait: this movie came out post-9/11. So, this means that Daniel planned a coordinated assault on airport security in a post-9/11 world, causing TSA to lose their minds and presumably assume that their airport was under attack. Then he immediately moved on from his late wife’s tragic death so that he could date a woman who looked like a supermodel.
Joe Fox in ‘You’ve Got Mail’ (1998)
Going back even further in time to the 20th century, we suddenly find ourselves in a minefield of sociopathic rom-com characters. One of the most notable, surprisingly, is Tom Hanks’s character Joe Fox in You’ve Got Mail, a behemoth of the genre. After discovering that the woman (Meg Ryan) he has been amorously chatting with online is his professional nemesis, he decides to catfish her while simultaneously destroying her livelihood and career. But then they kiss in a park in New York, a scientifically proven rom-com remedy for toxic narcissism.
Julianne in ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ (1997)
Julia Roberts can make just about any character appear likable, but even her megawatt smile can’t hide the shenanigans in My Best Friend’s Wedding.. Despite never having once expressed interest in her friend Michael, she suddenly falls for him after seeing him get engaged to Cameron Diaz. Then she gaslights both of them, invents a fake boyfriend to make Michael jealous, and illegally breaks into his office to forge an email under his name. She does all this to destroy the wedding of two perfectly happy people. She never even found out if Michael was into her. Those two are doomed.
Jerry Maguire in ‘Jerry Maguire’ (1996)
Some of the most enduring quotes in cinema come from this movie – “you complete me,” “you had me at hello,” “show me the money” – but Jerry (Tom Cruise) is a dick. He completely disregards the feelings of Dorothy (Renée Zellweger) and leads her on after convincing her to uproot her life. Then he doesn’t seem to realize or care that she risked her livelihood and family to be with him. Later, when Jerry can’t emotionally or financially provide for Dorothy anymore, she makes the wise, rational decision to leave him and the city. However, his ego can’t take it, so he makes a grandiose speech to pull her back into his orbit. He’s going to control her for the rest of her life. Girl, get out!
Charles in ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’ (1994)
Our earliest entry is an enduring classic thanks to its witty script and the legendary lifeless line readings that Andie MacDowell delivers throughout the movie. Still, despite those particular charms, Charles (Hugh Grant) is a problem. Until meeting MacDowell, he’s spent his life disparaging and mistreating all of his ex-girlfriends, only having avoided cancellation thanks to his shy smile. Then he leaves his stricken, heartbroken fiancée at the altar to start dating MacDowell’s character simply because they had good sex a couple of times. He doesn’t even propose! He just … asks her to go out with him. You just know he’s going to ask for an open relationship in three weeks.
