How much does it really mean to hear someone say you will be happy again when you are in the throes of total misery? It always feels like an empty promise that brighter days are ahead when you can’t even remember the last time you even felt okay. There’s probably a small part of you that still dares to hope that things will turn around for you soon, and maybe you’re ready to tell that little voice to shut the hell up because it hurts to hope too much. It’s exhausting and draining and feels like the hard times drag on forever, but you have to hold on to that small part of you that’s still hoping.
You have to believe that you will be happy again. That you’ll go on another car ride with new people and old songs and it’ll strike that perfect balance of familiarity and excitement to give you that comfortable rush you didn’t know you were craving. That you will find peace with the parts of your life that you thought would turn out differently and realize it was always meant to be this way. That all these things you have been trying to force will wear you down until you reach acceptance. Not defeat, but acceptance. That you will sift through enough people in the world to find ones that know how and when to hold you tight, and that you will find gratitude for the ones you lost, even when they are unkind.
You have to believe that those things you’ve been wanting to feel aren’t lost forever, but rather lying dormant while you gather up the experiences and tools and strength to carry you through your life. Like Frank says in Little Miss Sunshine, “He gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, those were the best years of his life, ’cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn’t learn a thing.” Maybe that makes you roll your eyes because you’re tired of learning and just want to get to the good stuff, but you will feel gratitude for it soon. You will.
Nature is constantly mirroring back real life lessons, and one of which comes from the ability to really see the stars on the nights when the world is particularly dark. The beauty of the sky is always clearest when there aren’t any superficial lights blocking the way, and that’s what this time is for you. It’s you clearing through the shininess and allowing the darkness to show you what real beauty looks like in this world. The kind of goodness that doesn’t ask to be seen, it’s just there, and it’s ready for you to recognize it when it feels like there’s nothing left to appreciate.
When everything feels hopeless, the good moments become the great ones. Believe me, you will be happy again. Happier than you ever thought you could be.