18. Chasing A Hit
Back when I was using heroin and meth heavily (4 years clean now!), my friend and I, Taylor, ran off and got a hit from a dope man who he owed money to.
Nothing out of the ordinary, we ran around getting every dope boy to front us at every opportunity. This time we went to the same man who he had screwed over a few days earlier.
Took the guy 6 hours to get there, we had my car, and only enough cash for either a hit or gas to drive to him. So we waited in my dead ass car fiending. Talked about all sorts of things, music, life, all the wonderful things we were going to do.
Our guy showed up, we got the dope, nothing seemed off. Even gave it to us in a fresh rig!
Taylor took the hit. 50/50 shot that hit was mine had things gone differently, and he would be here, I dead. The guy gave him a hot shot, basically as I understood it at the time it was battery acid that Taylor shot directly into his veins.
He gasped. He shook. He looked at me with a look I will never forget.
He convulsed and vomited. I can only imagine the pain he felt. I know that fear of powerlessness in that moment, no matter what I did he was dead, I still remember his eyes staring up at me while I freaked out.
And then, just like that, he was gone. It was so fucking sudden. Like one second here is all essence of this life right in front of me and then the next it is so clear that it is gone. The muscles holding the expression on his face relaxed, the fucking sigh as gravity pushes the breath out.
I will never forget.
19. And Innocent Boy Makes A Tragic Mistake
I was around age 8. I accidentally jumped on my Mom’s stomach when she was pregnant, not realizing that it could hurt the unborn child. It died.
She hasn’t ever brought it up, and I’m a senior in high school. It still gets to me time to time. For the most part, I try to forget it, but man, when I do get to thinking about it, it hurts.
