21 Men And Women Who Killed In Self Defense Share Exactly What Life Is Like Knowing They Killed Someone

16. Female Student Refuses To Be Raped

I am female, 5’2 and weigh a little south of 100 lbs. I’ve always been on the smaller side and I used to always have earphones on. I was always decked out in “nicer clothes”. Looking back, I was probably an easy target.I’ve always grown up on the “greener grass”. My parents are both successful and I’m an only child. It was a huge culture shock for me when I decided to go to college in a not-so-safe area. My school is a fairly high ranked private school in probably the worst location of SoCal. Really high crime rates & all that fun stuff.

I was walking to my apartment after a long day at the library – it was around 1 am or so. I normally drive, but that day I had lent my roommate my car so I decided to walk to school instead. I could’ve taken the shuttle, but I figured I should exercise and all that fun stuff. I was young and reckless.

I think I was about 10 minutes away from my place when I noticed I was being followed. I didnt think much of it, so I kept going. There are a lot of homeless people in the neighborhood and they’re fairly harmless, so I figured it was one of them panhandling or something. What I didn’t know was that there was someone else in front that was “following” me too. The cops said they had planned it from the start – I wasn’t a random target. They were herding me to a location they wanted me to be in. I dont really remember how it happened, but I turned the corner and everything went black. When I woke up I was sitting on the floor of the alleyway in the corner and there were about 3 guys towering over me. Two of them had a knife and they told me if I screamed they would make sure the cops wouldn’t be able to identify my body.

I remember them grabbing me by my hair and dragging me further down the alley, and being forced on the floor on my stomach. One of them held on to my hair and my hands so I couldnt move my head and I felt strong pressure on the back of my calves & thighs. I imagine they were probably stepping on my legs so I couldnt move. I remember crying and choking on my snot & tears while trying not to make a sound. I also felt something really cold on my neck – I knew it was the knife so I kept quiet. They rummaged through my bag and took everything worth while, and threw the rest in the giant trash bins. Whoever was stepping on my legs bent down and started patting me down to make sure I didnt have anything on me that was worth stealing. They took my iPod, iPhone& around 200 in cash from my pocket. I felt really strong pressure on my side after that knocked the wind out of me – I felt like I was going to die. I imagine they kicked me. I couldnt curl up into a ball and cry though, they were still holding on to me. The part after that is a blur – I remember one of the guys saying “lets bounce” and another voice saying “lets have some fun with this asian bitch”. I think there was a small debate whether or not I was asian (I’m half) but I dont really remember. I think my adrenaline kicked in when I felt pressure on my lower back and someone pulling down my jeans. I started flailing and screaming then. They kicked me a lot more and cut my shoulder from my flailing. I think that scared them – they weren’t really planning on hurting me. I got an arm free and grabbed the knife by the blade. I remember it stinging and thinking “YES”. It was more of a “I’m still alive” than a “yes, I can hurt these guys”. I managed to wrestle the knife away from the guy holding my hair and tried to stab him. I felt some pain in my back (which later turned out to be stab wounds).

What they don’t tell you in movies is how hard it is to stab someone. I think I tried to stab his legs, his arms, stomach, anything I could reach. I couldn’t fully get it in but I knew he was hurting because he kept screaming. I think when I realized I had done something was when I felt the knife slide in and the other guys yelling and running. When there was no more pressure on me I looked up and saw that I had managed to stab the guy in the eye. He stopped moving and just fell. I don’t know if he was dead then – I want to imagine it was the shock that caused him to pass out. I started screaming and crying and yelling. I think I passed out too. I remember waking up to sirens and going to the hospital. I had multiple stab wounds and had to go through intensive surgery. I also had 3 broken ribs, a fuck ton of fractured bones and all that fun stuff.

A couple days later the detectives on my case told me that the guy didn’t make it and that they were sorry his shitty ass couldn’t rot in prison. I just remember thinking “Good, I hope he rots in hell.”

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