1. You have a filtered water pitcher of the Brita or PUR persuasion, which you fill regularly. However, you still buy cases of water bottles and drink them all. You don’t even refill and reuse them, tbh. You just drink one down and throw it away.
2. You used that spoon to stir your coffee… that’s it. Literally, you stirred your coffee with it for .002 seconds and nothing else. But you put it in the dishwasher anyway, instead of washing it by hand and putting it back in the drawer. Because you’re lazy AF.
3. Same goes for once-used forks, knives, and any other category of utensil.
4. You held your pee for an ungodly amount of time. When you were home. On your couch. With the bathroom directly down the hall. All out of total laziness.
5. You let your phone die because it’s much too bothersome to go get your charger from your bedroom. You’d have to get up, go unplug it (ugh), and carry it back into the living room. You’ve missed several texts because of this and maybe an entire night out.
6. You order delivery when you have a full fridge of easy-to-make meals. You may have even just gone grocery shopping to add insult to injury.
7. You’ve never not mixed whites and darks. Or sheets and towels. Or lingerie with jeans. You just want to get the shit clean and be done with it – what’s the big damn deal?
8. On the subject of laundry, you’ve left clothes in the dryer for days. No. Weeks. The idea of pulling them out, folding them, and putting them away is just too much today (and every day following until you’re ready to deal).
9. You boiled plain pasta in a saucepan, and put the saucepan into the dishwasher. You cannot be bothered to scrub all that salt water and plain pasta residue clean, then set it to dry. Nope. Way too much effort.
10. You sat home, whining loudly about how badly you wish they (whoever “they” are) delivered ice cream, but wouldn’t just get up and drive a mile up the road to go get some for yourself. You’d rather complain about it and torture your tastebuds by obsessing over how badly you want some instead. Duh.
11. You didn’t wash your sheets for a month because you were going through a sexual dry spell anyway, and we’re like “I’ll sleep in my own filth. IDGAF.”
12. Or you did wash your sheets, but were way too tired to remake the bed when it was time to sleep, so you just slept on the mattress pad. For, like, three nights.
13. You’re not even sure why you own nail polish remover. It’s right there. So are your cotton pads. But you pick it off every single time. It’s easier. Whatevs.
14. You let that loose hair from your shower sit near the drain for at least two more showers. How are you expected to bend over and pick it up to throwaway after such a glorious, relaxing time? You’re warm and clean and fuck that hair for right now.
15. Going to the gym and not showering afterwards. Because see #11.
16. Continuously opening your fridge and seeing that drawer of old, expired leafy greens and veggies you know need to be thrown out, then shutting the fridge door and not dealing with it.
17. One time (okay, multiple times), you didn’t check your mailbox for over a week. You just walk right past it every day, watching it pile up. What’s the point? It’s all junk mail anyway, right? But a package – a package, you’ll go to the ends of the Earth for.
18. Yeah, you smashed that bug. You killed it hard. Then you let it sit where you killed it for a few days because it’s dead now so it’s not bothering you anymore and you have better things to do. Like nothing.
19. #1 culprit here: knowing, full-well, how overstuffed and smelly the trash is and doing one of two things. Either a) keeping the lid shut tightly on said trash can, ignoring the problem completely because you’re much too much too busy to take care of the situation right now. Or b) carrying the trash outside, but only to the brink of the front or back door. No farther. It’s just a few more feet to the neighborhood trashcan or dumpster, but you CANNOT and WILL NOT be bothered to put forth all that effort right now. Moving it outdoors is good enough. You’ll deal with it later. Or tomorrow. Or by Friday, for sure.
Basically, we’re all disgusting and should be ashamed of ourselves. But we aren’t and won’t be, so carry on not carrying on.
We followed Chromeo around NYC while they shared some stories from their early life on the road. Watch the video here: