35 Chilling Stories Of Women Who ‘Dated’ Older Men As Teens And How They Realized They Were Groomed

If you’re not sure if your partner is safe or not, here’s a list of red flags for predators. If you relate to these stories, I’m so sorry you have had to deal with this.

I wasn’t allowed to say no

“My first boyfriend was 22 years old! I was probably 13-14 something. He was very controlling, the kind that tells me I’m not allowed to say “no” if he asks anything. He used to ignore me for days and not reply to me. And very often made me send him nudes and I really really hated it. But I wasn’t allowed to refuse or he would go find a girl who would satisfy him “a true woman”. And I didn’t see anything wrong at the time with this but at least I didn’t have sex with him even tho he suggested that.

Now I’m 21 and when I look back and think about it. I just feel so much shame and burden. And just asked myself why and wonder didn’t he see that I was a freaking child. And I get filled with sadness. And I feel like that happening in such a young age really contributed to things I have done and hate.

All I can take from this is to be careful in the future and make sure it won’t happen to my own kids.” — bananakiwi777

Parentification (look it up)

“I had a friend who babysat a 30-35 year old guy’s young kids when she was 12-13.

He (the dad guy) started to romance her and convinced her they were “dating” but people just wouldn’t understand. I do remember asking her if she had had sex with him and what it was like. She said it didn’t do anything for her but “I do it because he likes it.” At the time I thought she was really mature and knew what she wanted in life and parents would just try and boss her around. She moved after a couple years of “being with him” so it fizzled out.

She is married with her own kids now and we aren’t friends any more but as an adult I wish I could go back and explain to us that she was being abused, that it was predatory, and get the guy put in prison. I don’t know the guys name to look up whether he ever got caught.” — tigrrbaby


“I was 15 and definitely didn’t understand A THING about love or danger, I found out that he was married and had a child because he literally disappeared and I was trying to find out what happened.” — chickenwing-coffee

My mom was worried about ruining his reputation

“It’s almost always the one your family loves. My mom didn’t believe me when I finally told her I hated that man and that I didn’t like the way he touches me. She told me I needed to think about the gravity of what I was saying and that I needed to think about the implications it would have on development protest in our town (not only was he my teacher but he was a political leader in our small town who spearheaded the protest movement my mom was obsessed with).

He was able to get me alone because my mom had confided in him how when my brother wasn’t at the hospital due to his disease, he was beating the shit out of me and telling me I was a worthless piece of shit. He got me alone by asking if I wanted to talk about how scared I was of my brother dying and how scary he was when he was angry. I was 11.” — malinhuahua

Left her for a 13-year-old

“I remember my best friend dated a 21-year-old guy when we were both 14. Back then I felt a little grossed out, but honestly I was mostly jealous. He was handsome-ish and gave her the attention she craved. But eventually she figured out that he was only using her for sex – then he left her for a 13-year-old. It only dawned on me years later just how fucked up all of this actually was. He was a straight up pedophile. And we all thought he was so cool.” — taskum

He made me feel special

“I was 15 with a 21 year old. He hung around youth group and made all us younger girls feel special with his attention. I was shy and quiet, didn’t stand out much, but obviously wanted the special attention that all the prettier, peppier girls got. He wasn’t interested until he found out my mom worked nights and I was home alone. We ended up getting into a pretty heated argument and split when, two weeks in, I still hadn’t let him come over because I was terrified of what my mom would do if she knew I’d had ANYONE over while she was gone.” — NurseNotJoy

My mom basically pimped me out

“My mother found older boys to introduce me to when I was 15/16. She would take me to coffee shops or sneak me into bars and charm her way with men in their 20s only to introduce them to me. I would date them, and she would get chores done around the house that she needed. Painted kitchen, fixed cabinets, roof work, stuff like that. I remember my best friends mom trying to warn me and explain to me why it was wrong of my mother to let her 15 year old date 25 year olds, but I just thought I was really cool.

It wasnt until one of them found me online and reached out a few years ago, that I realized what she’d actually been doing all that time.

And of course, none of these guys knew what the fuck they were doing so the house looked like shit anyways.” — operachick209

I don’t know how it affects me

“I was 11 and he was 23.

We didn’t date (he had a girlfriend) but he would sext me and send me nudes. Eventually I realized it was strange and blocked him.

Didn’t tell anyone about it. I sometimes wonder if it’s impacted me more than I would care to admit.” — goldenphoenix16

We were children

“SUPER common. Something very similar happened to myself and a friend of mine when we were around 11-14. The guy in question was in his 20s, and he never sent us pictures but he would get really touchy with us and talk about inappropriate subjects/tell us we turn him on. Neither of us really understood how inappropriate this was because we were actual fucking children, so it kept going for a long time before our dads (both in the same biker org as the guy’s mom’s bf) caught wind and finally put a stop to it.” — lampsu

He insisted on filming

“I was 13 with a 22 year old ‘boyfriend’

He made me feel special, grown up, my friends were all jealous (tbh he was hot! A predator but a solid 10/10) we met on xbox live (those were the days) and started a relationship. I was in my ugly duckling phase so was drawn into it by the attention. No boys my own age seemed interested in me, I was bullied a bit and it was nice for a good looking, older boy to think I was pretty.

He slowly pressured me into sex, started with pushing me into sexual acts on web cam, to oral, then full sex. He always insisted on filming everything because ‘he loved me so much he wanted to only use our videos as porn’ what I wasn’t aware of was the fact he was showing all his friends and they made bets on how quickly he could get me to do something else.

Whenever I pushed back he always said, if I wanted to date a man I needed to act like a woman otherwise he would find a girl more willing to have a ‘proper’ relationship with him.

He then tried to pressure me into sleeping with his friends, started with a threesome (him included) then one night he asked me to just sleep with his friend, I saw his friend give him money which is when I realised this whole thing was a lie and left.” — Lethal_bizzle94

Authority figures

“He was my guidance counselor. I didn’t realize how creepy he was until he proposed. The whole thing was fucked.” — z0mbiegrl

I thought it was normal

“I’m from a third world country where it is “normal” for 15-16 year old girls to date guys in their early to late twenties. Especially in the 90s when chatrooms became available thanks to the internet. At 13-14 years old with my girlfriends we would meet up with 18-19 year old boys which now I know it was not a good idea but I didn’t know any better back then. Until I moved to a different country where I learned that there were strict laws in place for adults dating/having sex with teenagers. I was too stupid to understand why my mom was so upset when at 14 I had a date and got picked up in a car by a 24 year old who bought me ice cream at mc donalds but luckily he was very nice and took me home after. Can’t say I wasn’t pressured into doing sexual stuff at very young age by much older men but unfortunately that was the norm.” — VampireYuki69

A cop

“I was 14 and dated a 25 year old cop. He never asked my age and I never told. One day were chatting on phone and I told him that I got some homework to do and I’ll call back later. He said freshmen year of college getting to ya huh? I said, college? I’m in high school. Dead silence, then he asked how old I was and I said 14. He freaked out and was saying I’m gonna go to jail for this and I’m gonna lose my job. He said I can’t see you again and please don’t tell anyone. I said yeah of course. I got why he was scared and I never saw him again and never told.” — geri73

I felt mature

“I was 15 and met a 30 year old who was an older brother of a boy I met in group therapy. He used to tell me how complicated and mature I was (lol so cliché). I’m now 24 and seeing or interacting with anyone who is 15 makes me sick. I felt so old then but it’s insane now how obvious to me that people that age are children.” — Nini423

We met online

“I met a dude on adult swim’s forums back when I was around 12. He was 24 and was nice to me. Things always seemed hinky to me even from the beginning, but I had no friends in real life and was definitely in an ugly duckling place, so I figured that if this is who is going to pay attention to me, so be it.

He would tell me the things he wanted to do to me and eventually sent me a hideously low-res picture of his dick and all I remember is trying to laugh it off and said I thought he sent me a picture of a sock 💀

Eventually, he started asking that if we met in person if he could tie me up and take nudes of me. He started talking about buying a plane ticket to visit me and for my address and I guess I finally had a bad enough gut feeling and didn’t go through with it.

My family eventually found out about us talking and it was a huge deal. I was rightfully banned from the internet for a while, not that it mattered much, because I wound up meeting another awful dude older than me, but this one was locally grown lol.” — shinyatits

It was self-destructive

“I spent ages 12-15 having “cyber sex” with older men on AOL. I was a good writer and this way of exploring sexuality really appealed to me. I always lied about my age and the chats were extremely explicit and always with men from 20-40.

I sought out older men at a very young age because I felt like I was a grown-up. This behavior became a very long cycle of self destructive behavior. I don’t know anything about any abuse in my childhood but I can’t help but wonder.” — [deleted]

I didn’t realize it was creepy

“I dated/had sex with a 28 year old when I was 13 and thought it was perfectly normal. He always complimented me, bought me stuff, and drove me places when I needed a ride. Looking back now I can’t believe I didn’t realize how fucked up that was.

To this day he can’t find someone to date that’s his age (I’m 24 now) from what I heard from rumors.” — katdunks

It didn’t click until I was older

“It honestly never clicked for me until I was MUCH older myself. I just thought I was super mature and that’s why it wasn’t weird that I was 14 with a 19 year old boyfriend. It was a super toxic relationship, he cheated on me, stole from me, lied to me and lied about me so much. He pretty much only came around when he wanted sex and would tell me whatever he thought I needed to hear to keep stringing me along. In my naïveté, I thought this was just how “grownup” relationships were. So I stayed, until I finally got fed up at 18 years old! Isn’t it funny that when I was finally old enough to date him, I no longer wanted to???

I thought I was cooler than the other girls in my grade because my boyfriend was a man. Looking back, I’m sure I was an easy lay as I didn’t require much from him in return like people his own age might’ve. And as I got older, I wondered if he ever felt odd having sex with someone who was so clearly a child. I also wondered how none of his friends (they all knew my real age) thought it was weird or called him out on it. I think that’s the “system” they speak of when they say this kind of behavior takes a village of people who were not willing to protect the child. The irony of it all is that Karma has blessed him with three daughters and I’m sure he’s had the scary thought, more than once, that another “him” will come along and treat his girls the way he treated me!” — RAVENMADSAINTSFAN

A teacher

“I was 16, a school teacher of 30 years used to touch me and text me stuff. I didn’t really realize it was bad until some years later when he married a girl form my class. I didn’t tell anyone because I was scared that people would think that it was my fault.” — irissmt

I couldn’t even get help

“I was 17 and having a “relationship” with my 45 year old teacher (whilst I was in school). My Dad was dying of terminal cancer and I needed someone to lean on. The police found out, but I didn’t want to disclose any details – watching my Dad die was enough trauma, let alone having a full on police investigation. He is no longer allowed to teach, but never was prosecuted. I tried to go for counseling, but they said they would have to inform the police of whatever I said.. So I’ve been trying to deal with it by myself. He hit me and sent me death threats and I never reported him.” –– John-Mulaneys-Wife

I almost married him

“I called off my wedding 3 months before it happened. Why? I was a 17 year old (I’d have been 18 at the time of the wedding) about to marry a 26 year old man that had been dating me for 3 years. I was a victim about to marry her abuser.

The engagement ring, which I did eventually find out was fake (he has money. Lots of it, but that didn’t matter to me) was to buy my consent/silence/whatever as he stuck his dick in everything that moved. He was an alcoholic, a narcissist, a pedophile (seriously, I wasn’t a 14 year old that looked like an 18 year old. I was a 14 year old that looked like a 12 year old.)

I loved him because I thought he was saving me from my horrid situation with my family. My mom and I moved in with her boyfriend, only to find out too late that he was an abuser. He’d take me away from it, even if it was just for a little while.

I was so messed up. I ended up living in a boarding house when things finally broke in my abusive household because, of course, I was 17 and he didn’t want me to move in until I turned 18 (his career depended on a squeaky clean image.) I ended up pregnant, having a violent end to my pregnancy that resulted in my daughter’s stillbirth.

Despite this all, I loved him. But he started picking at my appearance. I was “gaining too much weight” even though I was at a healthy weight for my age/height. I had gotten hips and breasts… so we talked about dieting. I stopped eating. I drank water when I’d get hungry. Everything had to be low fat/no fat, low calorie/no calorie, and sugar free. It worked. I went from “healthy” to “underweight.” What made me realize that I wanted out was a box of chicken wings.

I ended up moving back in with my mother after she was able to escape her ex. We lived near an indoor flea market/farmer’s market that had the most amazing food vendors. I love food, and this diet was killing me. I was fucking miserable. So, I decided to have a cheat day, and I went and ordered a box of hot wings from the chicken place in the farmer’s market. As I sat down with my favorite movie, eating my favorite food, I realized that the extreme dieting would always be my life. I also realized that he wanting me to be so unhealthy wasn’t right. I was tired all the time, cold all the time, hungry all the time. I decided, while happily munching on that box of wings, I was done.

I called him, told him that I was done. It took me another 3 years to truly be done, but the very expensive wedding was done and over. He never got any deposits back. It took me almost a decade to realize that he wanted me to look like a 14 year old forever. I was also always dismissive about the age difference, citing that I was mature for my age. I now realize it didn’t matter. I was a child.” — daviannamorgan

I blamed myself

“Not a woman but when I was under 18 (I think I was 16) I joined a guild on wow and the guild leader groomed and pressured me into sending him nudes and being naked on webcam. when his gf found out she told the entire guild that I was a home wrecker. i really thought the guy cared about me, but he joined in and said i was desperate and it was sad that i was so into him. he blocked me and ruined my reputation on that server. He was in the army and I think 28. pretty sure those pictures got passed around and it is absolutely vile that these 30+ grown adult men were distributing child porn of me and laughing about it. I blamed myself for the longest time but telling my story to horrified faces kinda made me realize how fucked up it was.” — rhuxinabox

A 31-year-old took my virginity when I was 13

“I had this internet boyfriend (when dating/talking to people online was still taboo) for going on two years I believe. He lived in British Columbia and was I believe 31 at the time, while I was in California and I think 13 when I first started taking to him. I was going through a bunch of crappy things during that time at home, dealing with constant fighting/domestic violence amongst my parents who tried getting back together, dealing with self-esteem issues and self-harm, contemplating suicide or running away. He was of course there for me to talk and listen and always offered a place at his home if I ever decided to run away. Even offered to buy any plane tickets for me if I just said the word whenever I was ready. He would always talk about the life we could have if I did run away and such.

I thankfully never did run away, but the summer I was entering into high school the stars all seemed to align for me to finally meet him. I had always gone to summer camp with the YMCA in elementary and middle school, but high school aged kids had a two week caravan instead. That year it just so happened that the caravan was planning on driving from Los Angeles to Vancouver, BC and all the way back. I immediately told my mom I wanted to go and we got my spot reserved.

He was definitely excited about finally meeting and the plan was to hopefully have me sneak out of the campsite and spend time back at his place before bringing me back. We also discussed sex and I agreed to lose my virginity to him when we met. I was worried about him getting in trouble, but it just so happened that the age of consent at the time in Canada was 14, so he assured me he would be fine.

The night came and I snuck out of my tent to meet him and I forgot the reason why, but he didn’t have his car for some reason, so the choice was to take a taxi back to his place or stay at the campsite. I was worried about getting caught offsite so I figured we could just hang out somewhere away from everyone. We found a picnic bench and I thought we could sit and talk for a bit, but he was just trying to get right to work. He was suggesting to have me lose my virginity on top of this picnic bench out in the open, and there was some random person’s tent maybe 20 or so feet away. All they had to do was open their tent and they would be facing us and see everything. He was adamant about us doing it there because there was no other option and my dumb self gave in to the pressure. So I lost my virginity at 14, in another country, outside on a picnic bench to this loser of a 32 year old. It was pretty terrible since it hurt, wasn’t the most pleasant environment, and he lasted maybe a minute. I had instant regret, but at least no one came out of that tent or walked by while it happened.” — babystoney

He’s a youth pastor now

“I was 16 “dating” my 23 year old supervisor from work at a fast food restaurant. It started like the normal story, I thought I was mature, he made me feel special, etc and it was fine for a few months. He seemed sensitive, he had been engaged and had his heart broken before and did seem genuinely pretty sweet. We would stay after work talking and I’d try to sneak over to his apartment when I could.

After maybe 6 months of dating, the owners of the restaurant found out and fired him. They didn’t fire him for that, but found another excuse to get rid of him pretty quickly. After that, he couldn’t find another job and I felt responsible. I gave him a couple hundred dollars a few times to help him make his rent but after another few months, he had to move in with his dad.

At this point, I started college (I went early) and he was living about an hour away from me. My parents didn’t want me to see him when I still lived at home, so we spent a little more time together once I was at school. He still wasn’t working and was pretty unhappy overall. He always talked about how much he loved me and wanted to get married, but I knew all along I didn’t want to, I just felt so guilty leaving him.

After we’d been dating for over a year, he moved several states away to live with his brother and try to get his life together. He got him a job and everything was going pretty well, we were doing long distance, and he kept trying to convince me to transfer schools out there. After a month or two of him being gone, I finally got the courage to break up with him. He became very depressed and even suicidal. He came back to visit and I saw him twice, both times, I had to stop him from doing something harmful to himself. I always reached out to his family or friends to make sure they knew what was going on, but eventually I cut off all contact.

I looked him up a few years ago – he’s married, has two kids, and is apparently a pastor or youth pastor.” — travelcbn


“Well we didn’t really date. I was 8, in Mexico with family. Not the fancy resort Mexico. The run down, cobble stone street, horses are the main transportation, type of town. I was looking for my sister who had gone to a corner store with a cousin. There were multiple so I was screwed. See, she was the type to go to at least three and then at the final one, pick her items and go back home. I took off. I went to the farthest one and would just loop back, no biggie. I was walking on the street, and a car pulls up from behind me. He stops and rolls down his window and asks me to come to the car. I do and he asks where the nearest school is. I tell him it’s down this street we’re on and then a right about 5 blocks down. Keep going straight. You’ll see it. He said thank you. I said of course and went to walk away but he said wait and opened his door. He told me to come around, because he essentially had me pinned to a small chain link fence. I got around the door (as if I were to get in) and he had his pants and underwear down, length in hand. He asked if I had ever seen one. I shook my head, not knowing what to say. He told me to hold it like he did. I was too scared to say no so I did. He then showed me how to move my hand and let me do it. He eventually released and he cleaned my hand off. He said I should get in, he’d give me a ride to the store. A guy on a bicycle came and started yelling at the guy in the truck. He was saying not to touch his sister ever again or he’d cut his hand off and he walked me down the street and around the corner and sat with me while I broke down. He said he was sorry and didn’t know what else to do. He saw it happen from up the street and rode his bike as fast he could. Eventually I gathered my composure, gave him some money for a beer, and ran home. I think about it now. I could’ve been taken and never heard from or seen again. I thank that guy every day. I have never told anyone this but wanted it off my chest.” — bolita805

She never got out

“My cousin in GA got with a guy when she was around 13 and he was around 26. She had 3 kids with him. He slept around with anyone who was willing including his 1st cousin, her mom (my aunt) and her sister. He took advantage of her and fucked her self esteem so much that she always takes him back. Her 3 kids now all have kids too. She is raising most of her grandkids. I feel sorry for all of them. Some parts of Georgia are like a 3rd world country.” — artist9120

I didn’t realize he was a predator for years

“I was 14, he was 21. He knew me long before we “dated” though. Since I was 12 he spent lots of time making me feel older than I was and listening to my problems and comforting me. He constantly joked about dating me or my friends and we always laughed about how he would end up in jail one day. I thought it was a joke. At least until I became really sad, and I sought out some comfort from him. He took advantage of that and it escalated really quickly. He guilted me into sending him pictures every day while we “dated” and it wasn’t until it was too late that I realized what was happening. I recently got back chat logs from that conversation edit: (conversations I had with him) and I had to stop reading it because now that I’m older I can see every fucking tactic he used to manipulate me for all those years. It hurts. I didn’t even start to think about it as grooming until I heard he “dated” another friend of mine, and even though I felt protective of her it was only a year later that I thought of him as a predator and realized that we were not the only ones, and that there were even younger girls.” — TwelfthHouseAries

They made me feel needed

“I did this a lot as a child/teenager. Though all but one relationship stayed online, they were all still very sexual in nature.

I never really realized they were predators and the ones at fault due to how my mom handled me being groomed and abused by a 40 year old man in the 5th grade. I got hardcore grounded and told not to talk to him, he got off with no punishment whatsoever. So I kept sneaking back to him. He made me feel important and special and mature.

And then there were the guys I dated. A lot of guys in their 20s when I was 15 or younger. I was just a source of nudes and sexting for them. But it still made me feel needed. Then I started dating a 40 year old man when I was 16. That’s the one who broke the online barrier. He took my virginity. He ended up killing himself when he was caught molesting a 10 year old. I still couldn’t bring myself to understand he was a predator; I had been hella groomed.

It took a lot of therapy and medication to realize these people were the ones at fault. They were predators. I was a kid.” — AnnTheGoldfish

Clearly a pedo

“I was 15 and he was 28. I would skip school to go to his flat and watch him smoke weed and have sex. At the time I thought he was really cool, even though he had no job and sat around doing drugs all day and he had been in prison before. There were older guys there sometimes too, one evening called my mum pretending to my a friends dad and getting permission for me to go on a fake sleepover. He got back with his girlfriend who was a couple of years older than him and had a daughter, he didnt tell me and I turned up there with a friend and there were a bunch of people there drinking. I had to pretend I hadn’t been sleeping with him so she didnt beat the crap out of me. She went to the shops and the older men were telling me to suck his dick before she came back. I left and never came back. He broke up with her after a while and got together with a girl 3 years younger than me, so I believe by this time he was 29 and she was 13. I was completely delusional about the entire thing. Now I’m 28 and I couldn’t possibly imagine being attracted to a 15 year old. He was clearly a paedophile and I was gullible enough to be groomed.” — greygonetalc

He killed my dog

“I was 18 and started dating my 34 year old coworker, Tom. I don’t know why I even liked him, but for some reason I was drawn to him. He was charming, good looking, always willing to help people, talented, smart. When I was first getting to know him he acted perfect in every way, no matter how hard I tried I could never find any flaws in him.

I had a rough upbringing with an absent biological father and a mom and step father who treated me like garbage most days. Tom always knew how to help me forget about my shitty home life and make me feel like a million bucks- he would buy me gifts, tell me how special I was, take me out to nice dinners. To a naive 18 year old, he was just a sweet guy with good intentions. Fast forward a few months and I realised how wrong I was.

Tom and I had begun to secretly date behind my parents back because I knew they wouldn’t approve. After about a month of being together they discovered our relationship and kicked me out, forbidding me to see him. Well lo and behold, I ended up moving into Toms place because I had nowhere else to go.

The second we lived together and he knew I didn’t have a way out, that’s when he started abusing me. It was never physical abuse, was always verbal and emotional. Honestly, I think I would’ve preferred physical abuse. It would have hurt less.

The abuse ranged from belittling me and telling me I was worthless to killing my dog infront of me simply because he felt like it. He would tell me I was useless, lazy, and stupid. Would tell me that the reason my biological dad abandoned me was because I was an incompetent piece of shit who will never amount to anything. He would tell me my family didn’t love me and that I should just kill myself because no one actually gave a shit about me anyway. Sometimes when he was in a particularly bad mood he would take my sentimental belongings and break them infront of me and then laugh at me when I cried.

I put up with this shit for 2 whole years, and the entire 2 years I wished I was dead. I had no friends, no family I could fall back on. He had completely beaten me into the ground to the point where I believed everything he said. Eventually I gathered the courage to leave, but it took a lot and took WAY too long.

I’m 25 now and engaged to a wonderful man who treats me the way I know I deserve. I still have residual issues from Tom that I am trying to work through- I have good days and bad days. To any young girls reading this, please remember that you are worth so much more than you think. Don’t date any guy who gives you the time of day, ESPECIALLY if he’s significantly older than you. Chances are, he’s an abuser who is looking for an easy victim. Stay strong and stay smart, don’t be like me.” — Siegfried_Von_Anal

Everyone warned me

“I had actually turned 20 a few days before, so technically not a teenager, but I married him when I was 22 and he was 38 despite every red flag and every person who begged me not to, because I was a stupid kid and thought I knew everything. I’ve been trapped in an abusive marriage ever since, and I’m 39 now. Thing is, I didn’t realize it was abusive until about 5 years ago and now I’m well and truly trapped.

Please, young women who date older dudes — listen to people’s concerns. They care about you. They’re trying to help. And if you need an ear, my inbox and life experience are open to you. I will try to help.” — Redshirt2386

He didn’t let me have boundaries

“I’m 18, he‘s 31, I was supposed to meet him tomorrow. (My country has finished quarantine.) I told him I didn’t feel comfortable sleeping with him, or even hooking up in any way, he pressed me on it further, and I admitted I was on my period and was uncomfortable. He told me that he didn’t want to be around anybody who put up any barriers.. He didn’t want me to feel comfortable setting boundaries.” — WritingCapacity

I was desperate to feel loved

“When I was 17 I was befriended by a guy almost 17 years older than me. We were friends for 2 years and he pursued me relentlessly. I never fancied him but we did become really close and I cared a lot about him. I had a really hard time when I was younger and tried to commit suicide at 17 so when he promised me unconditional love (which I had never had), and showed me all this attention, he eventually wore me down. He made a move when I was 19 and I didn’t say no. We were together for 2.5 years.

I can’t say he was a predator exactly but when I reached my late 30s the thought of being with a teenager actually made me want to vomit. A change of perspective was a real eye opener as I had always explained that I was more mature than he was so the age gap didn’t seem that big. But when you’re 17 your opinion of time is so different to 20 years later.” — elgrn1

Thankful my parents got me out

“My parents found out and threatened to have him arrested if he ever contacted me again. I was 13 years old and he was 21 at the time. At the time I was truly in love with him and try to initiate contact with him after the fact. He wouldn’t talk to me. I was super pissed at my parents at first but looking back now I am truly glad my parents got me out of that situation. Thankfully we never went further then kissing and slight fingering, which is absolutely disgusting looking back, but I’m glad I wasn’t penetrated. The guy was mentally unstable.” — whatfieryhellisthis0

I trusted him

“I was a lonely, bullied 12 year old who wanted attention. A 40 year old dad with a son convinced me on the internet to send him nudes, and he sent me photos of him masturbating.

He made me feel cared for and listened to, and it makes me ashamed to this day how much I trusted a man I never met.” — Elegant_Plum